Direct And Linear Relationships

Chapter 21: Winter Ball

“I think you can make it work honey.”

I looked over at mom who was smiling like a mad woman.

“I don’t know...” I replied, still contemplating.

“Do you like it?”

“I do but...” trailing off I stepped closer to the glass and looked at the suit. “I’m just not sure it will look good on me.”

Mom placed her hand on top of my shoulder and squeezed.

“Try it on.” With a gentle nudge from her we walked into the store and asked the associate to get us that suit we were looking at in my size. But since I waited til the last fucking minute to get my outfit my chances are slim to none. The shitty part about shopping today is that it fucked up my hang out time with Sana. I haven’t been able to see her all week except for class and it’s driving me crazy. Between her off time being filled up with grading and teaching and mine with projects and volleyball it gave us little time to talk on the phone, let alone text. She’s also been weird, no more secret touches, no more fleeting looks of want...it’s been very blah.

Ever since our steamy session on Saturday, that I can’t fucking remember, Sana has kept her space. Like she’s afraid of getting too close to me, physically. I’m chalking it up to her hitting the brakes in attempt to slow down our growing affection for one another.

But it’s not working, not for me anyway. I just want her even more.

And then there’s Wendy, who’s been stuck to my fucking hip all week and while i liked the attention it’s been too fucking much. I figured I’d talk to her tomorrow, don’t know what I’m going to say but I’m sure I’ll pull something out of my ass.

Kicking my feet across the floor we found some chairs next to the fitting rooms and sat down. At least I have the dance to look forward to, even though we still can’t be together the way we’d like. As I thought about Sana I felt mom eye me carefully before placing her hand on my knee bringing me out of my pity party.

“You okay?”

I tensed up as soon as the words left her mouth.

“I’m good mom.” I tried to widen my smile but it ended up feeling like a straight line.

She nodded her head but her eyes were calling bullshit. Leaning back in the chair she moved her hand and placed it on my back, rubbing her fingers in between my shoulders.

“You know when your dad and I first started dating we hid it from our parents for months.”

Um...where is this fucking story going?

“One day we got into a fight.” she continued. “For the next few weeks I walked around the house like a robot. My body was going through the normal routine but my mind was always drifting back to him. Finally after moping long enough your grandparents sat me down and essentially made me spill everything. I was nervous but after we talked, it seemed like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.”

“What did you guys fight about?” I asked. It felt like a trap and this would somehow turn into me revealing my feelings for Sana but still I played along.

Sighing mom ran a hand through her short hair.

“This is not one of my finest moments but when we first met he was dating somebody else. We hooked one up one night and started sneaking around her back.”

My eyes widened.

“Mom!” I shrieked, hearing my voice filling the tiny store. “I’m impressed.”