You Led Me On

Show Me Mercy

I am such a terrible person, I've been trying to write this for so long. I rewrote this chapter at least 4 times, because I didn't like how it was going. I think I finally got it :p

Also, that next chapter most probably be the last one...

I'm working on a lot of stuff right now, it's been harder for me to write anything. 

I have another fanfic going on, and I'm stuck on another one, and this whole new plot for one I'm currently writing, my head is in at least 6 different stories at the same time and it's a caos. Sorry for taking so long. :( here you have it, don't hate me, things will bet better, I swear....

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I never thought of the chances of meeting him again, even though deep inside I knew that he was going to find me eventually. And still when I imagined over and over again the same scene in my head but in different circumstances, I never thought it would happen. Matt found me. He found me in a small city in Italy.

After I was released from the hospital I left to Scotland with Max, where I lived for a month or so.
I had suddenly vanished from England without leaving any trace, media was not the only one going crazy, I wouldn't stop receiving calls from everybody, including Dave, Dom and Matt. The only calls I answered were the ones from Alec and Joel. I answered their calls and their questions too.
I told Max I wanted to start over, but somewhere where I wasn't that famous or known. He called a cousin we have back in Italy, and told her the entire story. This cousin called Lucia told Max how very few was known of actors and models, Italy wasn't precisely a place where people were looking to stalk famous people, especially the small town where she lived. Max told me, and right away I decided I wanted to live at that small place called Perugia.
I told Alec and Joel, since those two were the only ones I was interested in keeping contact with. The two of them told me they wanted to travel to Italy too. Alec and Vanessa were going to celebrate their anniversary, and Joel wanted to meet Italy.
So, I moved to this small beautiful small town called Perugia, where Lucia had already the guest's room set for me.
After the first month, I was able to find myself a nice little flat downtown and a part time job in a library. The job was okay. It left me enough money for basic stuff, and I still had my bank account with the money I earned being an actress and a model. My maintenance wasn't expensive, so I was doing great with just my pay check.
I worked with a girl, a few years younger than me, called Giulia. She was such a loud and energetic girl; I couldn't understand why she worked in such a quiet place like a library. Then I came to understand that she loves books.
Giulia didn't know who I was, and didn't know Muse, or ever heard of them. But as she got to know me, she started listening to them. At first she didn't believe me. She googled me and found out that everything I had told her was the truth. Also that I was indeed an actress running away.
She was the reason why I began imagining that Matt found me. I told her our story, and how sometimes I wished I had never broken up with him in the first place. She actually got mad because I ran away from him. Because the truth was that I was under cover and I moved here to Italy to run away from him.
She began telling me a lot of "what if's". Putting me different scenarios where Matt and I met again. And I must admit I liked them. Just by imagining him, walking up to me at random places in Perugia, I remembered what I felt for him.
Many years of screwing up and practically suffering because of him. I tried so hard to suppress them, I actually managed to forget about Matt for a bit. But that didn't last. By the time I remembered everything, feelings flooded back to me. Stronger than before. The pain and loss I felt was now even worse. I was missing him so badly. I spent my free time setting up a scene in my head where I meet Matt again.
It's always different, the way we met again. Sometimes it was walking down the street, or at a store, or on a coffee shop. And it's always different. I recreated every possible way in which we could meet. Every possible way but one.
The doorbell rang softly, as someone walked inside the library.
I was about to leave, and go back to my flat, I was just placing some books on shelves, ready to go back home. I didn't bother to look who had walked inside; I just wanted to get over with this so I could flee because any time now was going to start raining. Good thong my flat was just a couple of streets up. It was an 8 minute walk.
The doorbell rang again, followed by Giulia's voice calling me.
"Honey! I'm back! You're free to go now"
I worked here on the morning shift and Giulia on the afternoon shift. We just happened to be working together just three hours every day, but right before my shift ended she went to buy coffee. I stayed here, so the book store wouldn't be unattended.
I finished placing the books and walked back to the cash register. I grabbed my hoodie from the chair behind the cashier and put it on, as Giulia a reached the cash register.
"Baby, I know that I've told you a million times to get back with Matt. But if you don't want to, I am not going to force you. So for your own sake, leave. Now" she whispered in a low serious voice. Something very rare of her.
"What are you talking about?" I asked her, leaning forward.
"I've been following Matt Fucking Bellamy from the coffee shop. He was there. I recognised him and I walked back here like I normally do, and I noticed he was walking towards here too, just a couple of steps ahead of me. He walked inside. I don't know if you saw him. But he is right here, right now"

"What?!" I asked getting a bit exalted.

"Shush!!" She shut me up "leave now before he sees you"
I nodded nervously, grabbing all my stuff and walking straight towards the door without wanting to look back. What if he sees me? I thought. I was taking that risk if I turned around. Girl, he would recognise you just by looking at your hair. I cursed in a low voice and shook those thoughts off and I pushed the door, making the doorbell right just as I pulled the door.
"Fuck" I whispered as I walked outside at a quick pace.
As I walked down the street, I struggled to put on my hoodie without dropping my purse and everything inside it. And just as I got my head inside, I stopped. Dead cold, knowing that it was my doom.
"Clara!" Matt called me as I made my wad down the street, "Clary, wait!"
I cursed before I turned around, knowing that this wasn't going to end fine,
I swung on my toes, not knowing what I was going to face. I just knew it was Matt, but I had forgotten all those overwhelming feelings that hit me whenever I met those beautiful bright blue eyes. And just as I met his stare, my whole body became cold all of a sudden, followed by a wave of heat running up and down my body, making me feel dizzy.
"Matt" I whispered mechanically.
"Uhm, hi..." He said taking a few steps forward "H-how are you, Clary?"
I kept putting on my hoodie, before answering him.
"I am fine" I lied, pulling the hoodie over my head. "You?"
"I've been better, but I'm fine, thanks" he said taking a few steps towards me. "Can we talk?"
"I-I...y-yeah, sure" i mumbled, feeling stupid. "D-D'you want to go somewhere or..." My voice faded away, leaving my question incomplete. But he still knew what I tried to say.
"I was at a coffee shop a few minutes ago, where I had this delicious caffè latte with a bit of whipped cream. I could have another one of those" he said trying to make it sound casual, though he still sounded lightly awkward.
"They do that in several coffee shops here at Perugia. They give you whipped cream whenever you ask for a caffè