Vacant

Chapter Twelve

“But, why not?” Luke asked gently.

            “Because, I don’t think it’s a good idea, and also I don’t want to do it,” I protested. Luke previously asked me why I hadn’t tried to present myself as a female at the skate park. I’ve told him numerous times that it was an ‘attention’ seeking thing and that it just seemed wrong to not only me, but the other guys as well.

            “But how would you know when you never even tried?”

            I can’t believe we are actually talking about this right now. Doesn’t he understand?

            “Luke! I really don’t want to, okay?” I added a little plead into my voice so he would understand the concept that I did not want to speak of this ridiculous subject anymore. I’m the type of person who hates to draw attention to them. It made me nervous and embarrassed.

            We were walking back to my place at night. After our little ‘intimate’ moment back at the cliff, I suddenly had a new vibe about Luke. I can’t pin it down at this moment, but I know it’s something worth knowing. We were nearing my house, and I suddenly feel sad. I thought the night would last longer, but as they say ‘time goes by when you have fun’. Yeah, what fun we had tonight. I chuckled softly to myself, and Luke turned to face me. He seemed to have heard what I thought was nearly inaudible to myself, and he was grinning a wide smile, bearing those impossibly straight and white teeth.

            “What’s so funny, Chloe?” I quickly shut my mouth and my thoughts. I have to stop having little comical moments to myself.

            “Nothing, nothing at all,” He flashed a small frown that was so quick I don’t think I really saw it. Okay, now I was just being rude to him. I can tell. “I’m- I’m sorry,” I stammered. I don’t know what to say to him, I mean what can I say? He’s so, so… perfect. Now I’m afraid that whatever I say will come out all wrong.

            Before I could say another word, he gently grabbed my arm and pulled me back. I could see my house from here, we weren’t far away now.

            “You,” he started, “need to stop apologizing for utter non-sense.” Oops, I thought. I can’t help it, I say sorry way too often.

            “I’m sor-” I started, but then stopped, realizing that I was saying sorry for saying sorry. He gave me a stern look, and tilted his head.

            “Why do you always say that? Sorry?” he questioned. Honestly, I didn’t know. Why do I say sorry constantly? Maybe it was just a habit? Probably, great.

            “I don’t know, just a habit I guess.” I shrugged my shoulders and started to walk again. When I heard no footsteps behind me, I turned around and walked back. Luke was staring back into the distance, similar to the competition day when he was on top of the ramp, ready to go down.

            “What?” I asked. “Why are you like that? Always portraying yourself as a mysterious, person looking off into the distance like that.” At that point, I had had enough. I walked away from him, seeming like he wasn’t going to answer. But, he did.

            “Dammit, Chloe! Why are you like that? You are the quiet and mysterious one not me!” he cooed. I stopped right then and there. Was he actually arguing with me? Well, that was a first. For someone who is frequently calm.

            “What the hell are you talking about? I might be silent, but that just means I keep things to myself. Unlike some other people who blurt out ever damn thing they say!” Unlike some people, I actually think before I act, I was going to add but decided against it. I wonder what he’s trying to get at. “And if you don’t like it, then feel free to hang around someone else! Because for your information, I like to think before I act.” Okay, so maybe I added a little of what I wasn’t going to say.

            He just stood there, a tall and broad silhouette in the dark. But I could tell, that even in the opaque night, his expression was not hurt, but anger. “What are you trying to do?” I added, wondering if he would ever talk again. This time, he spoke.

            “Can’t you see that already, Chloe? I like you. I want to get to know you. I’m trying to figure you out. But for some reason, you won’t let me in. You’re guarded and you can’t even admit it to yourself.” He finished it there. He already knew where my house was, because he wouldn’t have done what he did next. He just walked away from me. The night suddenly got chilly, and I was suddenly embracing myself. I stood there, like a stupid fool in the crepuscular night, all alone.