Vacant

Chapter Twenty-Two

 Ok, so here is my recent chapter, I'm finishing this book by the end of my March Break, so tune in! Sorry for the forever long wait, but here it is. There's a picture of Jesse on the side, in case you needed reference. Enjoy! xxo

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          I broke down immediately after sitting down on the rough dirt. I ran until my legs collapsed.

            After the sad and semi-awkward conversation with Luke, the only place I could think of to run off to was here, the spot where Jesse and I hung out the most, where the argentite rail loomed over the cliff and the superior view of my hometown was. Wind gusts sifted through my hair and I knew knots would form, but I didn’t care.

            I wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks and climbed onto the rail, gripping the cylindrical form, making my knuckles go white. I wasn’t used to sitting on the rail alone; I was usually with Jesse, who was not present. I was alone for the moment, and I hoped it stayed that way, albeit a little company wouldn’t be so bad. All of the confusion of boys in my life was starting to irritate me, and I instinctively thought of Alexis and how she handles her guy friends so easily. I wish I was as good as her at that stuff, but my inability wasn’t up to standard.

            The back of my legs squeezed the vertical rods holding up the horizontal rod which I was sitting on. There was at least a meter of dirt and ground before the cliff, so I really had no chance of falling…unless someone pushed me off and I lost my balance. Observing the cliff, it reminded me of how I was afraid to fall for Luke, and that he was something I was always scared of, the rail reminds me of River, of how he was always a safe place to go to, and how he reminded me of home, and the view reminded me of Jesse, that no matter what, he’d always be there for me, like how the sky and clouds would always remain.

            But I’m afraid. Should I stay with someone who feels safe, and would always be home to me, or should I take a chance, face my fears, and go with someone totally unexpected, reeling me into a whole new world. I don’t know how I’ll make this decision, but I won’t do it alone. I needed to call upon my view; the sky and clouds.

                                                *                      *                      *

            In a matter of minutes, Jesse met up with me. He silently sat on the rail with me, and said nothing. That’s what I love about Jesse; he knew he shouldn’t say anything, letting me talk when I was ready.

            “I – I need your help,” I say, wondering if I should really tell Jesse about what I am about to say. I mean, what if he hasn’t gotten over me yet? What if he says, “Forget about those boys, be with me instead.” But if Jesse was really my best friend, he’d understand.

            “Okay, about what?” Jesse asks, staring at the view, not looking at me. I gather the courage to look at him, and when I see his right eye move to look at me, he turns his head towards me. Something in him has changed, but I couldn’t figure out what. His hazelnut hair look freshly brushed, his skin was a nice tanned colour, and his eyes were full of something I couldn’t explain. And that’s when I noticed what he was wearing. He wore a blue dress shirt, with black khaki’s. The instant it hit me, I couldn’t hold in my chuckle.

            “Oh my god Jesse, were you on a date?” I ask, holding in my laughter. My shoulders were shaking from the laughter.

            He just looked at me, ashamed that I found out. “Oh my god, you were!” Then I burst out laughing uncontrollably, covering my mouth with my hand.