I'm Still Breathing

seventeen

Margo's POINT OF VIEW

My eyes flutter open and suddenly, I feel the horrible soreness and pain my body feels. I try to move but there are many tubes stuck to my body, but suddenly, I realize that I'm still alive. Oh no, god, no.

"Margo!" My mom exclaims, waking up every person in the room. She runs towards me and gently hugs my fragile body.

"Hey," I casually say, as if I'm going to hide the fact that I jumped on a building and I'm still alive.

"Call him now," my mom tells them and she starts crying her eyes out. They immediately take their phones out and call him?

Logan! My bitch of a subconscious shouts at me.

"Mom! I got him," Alec shouts. "Where are you? We've been calling you!"

"Margo!" Hadley throws her phone on the couch and runs toward me. I never say this, but I see her smile like a lunatic. She crashes onto me, making me groan in pain.

"God," I groan, as she sits beside me. "Are trying to kill me again?"

"Margo's—"

"Alec, I missed you! Who are you talking to? Come here and give me a hug," I say, my voice cracks, slightly irritated because he's busy calling Logan and not hugging me.

"Margo's awake, Logan," he says, walking towards me and hanging up on the call. He smiles and says, "Welcome back, bitch!"

"Alexander, there is no point in life I taught you to talk to your sister like that," my mom sniffs and she presses the button above me, notifying the doctors that I'm alive.

"God," he says. "I'm glad you're alive! Why did you do it?"

"If I'm going to tell you, it's only going to be you," I point at Alec, my voice breaking from not using it for a few days.

"Alright," he replies.

"How long was I out?" I ask and he replies, "Four months," Four months? Before I say anything, the doctor and nurse walks in and checks up on me and my vitals.

***

"After everything you've been through, you decided to end it?" Alec says and I nod in response because my throat's a bit sore from talking.

"I just want to kill you for doing that!" He exclaims.

"I know," I reply. "I just thought it's done. I'm officially done, but, nope."

"Maybe God just planned differently than you thought,"

"You know I'm not religious, right?" I clear it up.

"Okay, you need your rest," he says, standing up. "Sleep."

He stands up and kiss my forehead. Alec walks out and leaves me alone. I look outside and there's still sun, but I ignore it and decide to sleep.

Is he going to visit me? Is he going to say that he loves me? It's obvious that he got my letter because I'm not wearing my skinny jeans. I wish that letter would change his mind after he called me bitch and whore. Maybe he saw my wrist.

I look at my wrist and my cuts have been covered with band-aids, also, the writing disappeared.

***

"You're ready to go," the doctor says, after he did his finally checks on my vitals. "Remember to eat and no more jumping of buildings, please." I nod and stand up, grabbing the paper bag that my parents brought me. It's full of my clothes, finally, I'm going to get rid of the horrible gown. I walk to the bathroom and lock the door.

I wear the clothes which is composed of my normal black skinny jeans which doesn't fit, which is a size bigger than my usual, so that means I lost weight. I carefully slip on my top, which is a white shirt and a burgundy cardigan to cover my scars.

I look at myself at the mirror. I look pale, like I have no life, but I'm alive. I unlock the door and go outside. I slowly walk to the parking lot, trying to walk fast, but I can't. I don't want any of my bones get broken once more from walking hastily. I see Alec waiting inside his car and I walk in, buckling myself up.

"Where to now?" Alec asks, tapping the steering wheel. "I thought we were going home?" I ask.

"Are you going to visit him?" He asks and I frown. "Come on, Margo. Logan read your letters—"

"Not all of them," I add, but he sighs. "He knows what you truly feel about him."

"Nope," I cross my arms, being stubborn as always. 

"Why? He brought you to the hospital, called us, and waited for everything. Aren't you going to call him, visit, or even thank him?" He says, starting the car, driving back home.

"He doesn't even care. He didn't visit me," I say, looking outside the car window.

"He has a new job, you know," Alec tells me. "He continued his family's business."

"Whatever," I reply, trying to ignore him. "You like him," Alec says, making me flush. Busted.

"Nope," I lie.

"Yes, you do," he says, laughing. "You have a letter to prove it."

"Okay, I like him," I admit, knowing that I can't dodge him anymore.

"You should visit him," he says.

"No,"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes,"

"Do you know that he likes you too?" Alec says, making my heart flutter. He likes me? It can't be true.

"I heard him talk to the nurse. I heard that you two sharing something different," he tells me, making me even curios. He looks at me and he laughs, saying, "You look like you're going to have a heart attack."

"You're lying," I dodge it, but my heart keeps fluttering.

"Nope," Alec laughs. "Deny all you want, Margo, but it's true. He likes you."

"He doesn't like me, Alec," I say. "Come on. Cut it out."

"Why don't you just call him? It won't hurt anyone," he groans at stubbornness.

"I don't want to,"

"You're acting like child," he snaps. "Come on! Call him!"

We arrive at the house later. I walk inside immediately, but taking precaution with every movement I make. I enter the house and there's no party, which I'm glad of. I proceed upstairs and lie on my comfortable bed. I look at my phone and there are a ton of messages. I read all of them, which contained unoriginal quotes about taking yourself and shit-ton of lies.

To: (every contact)

Thank you for all the wonderful messages. Yes, I will continue to live life to the fullest, with little precaution, of course.

I send the message and throw my phone on my side, closing my eyes. I don't know what to do, maybe I should call him, but I can't. I hear my mother calling out our names to go downstairs, which all of us do.

"Okay, goodbye," my mother hangs up on the phone.

"What's happening?" I ask. "Who called?"

"Logan's parents," She replies. Again with the Logan issue. "They invited to attend the anniversary of Logan's company!"

"Oh,"

"At Friday, you should be ready," she says. "Honey! Isabel invited us to Logan's company's anniversary!"

I walk upstairs and slam my door shut. Now, I'm going to his company's anniversary? He didn't even bother to visit me! I suppose he already has a girlfriend, and maybe he forgot everything that we've been through.

Whatever. I'm just going to this party and ignore him.