I'm Still Breathing

twelve

I wake up with the familiar ringtone blaring. I sit up and rub my eyes, exhaustion and fatigue taking over my eyes. Before my eyes close once more, I search for my phone, which is under Hadley's leg, and answer the call.

"Hello?" I groggily answer, standing up and walking back to my room.

"Margo?" I hear Logan's melodic voice that made my heart flutter. "I apologize for not attending your homecoming party."

"It's okay," I plainly say. "You should actually apologize to my dad. He planned that you would open the champagne bottle because you brought me home."

"Really?" He asks, exasperated. "Oh, no. I'm sorry, especially to Mr. Stacy."

"Really, it's okay," I lie, opening the door to my room and entering. I frown, as I hear his sigh, making me lock my door. I don't know why I'm lying that it was okay for him to miss my homecoming, but it's his choice to miss it and now feeling regret.

"How can I make up to you?" Logan asks, feeling guilty. I try to speak, as I open my mouth, but nothing, no words come out. I try to say that he should spend time with me, eating out or simply get together. He should spend his time with me, so he can make up the time that I was in New York, wherein in any time he could visit me, but he did not.

Instead of saying all of these things, I regretfully say, "Do nothing. You've done too much." I walk towards the window and see the trees quietly swaying with the wind. I play with the cloth of curtain and ask him, "What did you do last night that made you miss the party?"

"Oh," is all he says that makes me furrow my eyebrows in thought. This is the things about having friends since your own childhood. You literally have memorized all of their actions to the way they breath, you already know what they are hiding. Especially for Logan and Ashley, I knew everything and with that simply word 'oh', I know that they're hiding something from me. "I just had dinner with a few old childhood friends."

"Do you think that I'm going to believe that lie?" I annoyingly say, irritated. "Jesus Christ, Logan! I've been your friend since we were kids, do you think I'm stupid to think that you're going to spend your time with your 'friends' feeling regret that you forgot my party? You can't live yourself because your guilty, knowing that you called me early in the morning."

"Okay, fuck sake's," he curses in exasperation, as I drilled him with questions. "You're turning into Ashley."

"Don't compare me with Ashley," I snap, gripping the curtain cloth hard in aggravation.

"I was out with my girlfriend-" He says, hearing my heart explode.

"Oh," is the word I say, copying him. I start to hearing ringing in my ears and clutch my chest, as I feel an ache come over. Why didn't he say that he has a new girlfriend? I know I'm his friend and I have the right to know everything about him. Why didn't he tell me, so I haven't have my hopes high enough to pull back down, giving me a whiplash.

I'm not angry at him for missing my homecoming awhile ago, but now as I know the reason for him missing my party, I am fueled with fury. He can reschedule, I mean, he should reschedule! I was gone for years and now, he's missing a party that's dedicated for my coming home. He doesn't have the right to miss my party for a girl!

I know I'm over exaggerating, but as a friend, he should come, at least to acknowledge that he's happy to see me. I, myself, would visit any homecoming just to give happiness, even though I have a busy schedule.

"Margo?" Logan asks, concern evident in his voice. I feel tears run through my cheeks, making me wipe them with the back of my hand immediately. "Are you there?"