maddie sturniolo: the triplets younger sister♡

9 - anxiety attack

matt's pov
i gently closed maddie's door, making my way to chris' room.
i hoped she was okay. she might've thought she could hide it from me, but i knew something had happened in school. i could tell. i knew that kid better than anyone else did. her leg was bouncing, she wasn't talking, she drank the whole bottle of water in like 5 seconds. obviously i wasn't gonna push her to tell me what's wrong because she obviously didn't want to say. i just hope she knows that she can always talk to me about anything. i know what it's like.
i didn't know where nick was, i think he might've gone to alahna's house but i wasn't sure.
"is she okay?" chris asked, as i shut his door. i shrugged
"she's feeling a bit unwell, i think she had a rough day, she seemed a bit down in the dumps when i picked her up" i said, sitting on the edge of chris' bed. he nodded.
"hopefully she feels better later" chris replied.
"mmm" i mumbled in agreement. "where's nick?"
"at alahna's"

7:30pm (maddie's pov)
i had been sleeping for just under 4 hours now. it was a good sleep too. i had fallen asleep so quickly, today must've really tired me out.
i woke up to chris gently rubbing my arm, telling me dinners ready.
"what?" i mumbled, squinting.
"dinners ready. you feeling a bit better?" he softly spoke. i felt much better.
"yeah, i do" i said, slowly sitting up, following chris down the stairs "what's for dinner? is nick back?"
"we got pizza, and no nicks still at alahna's." chris replied, as we got into the kitchen. my mom and dad were still out at work.
i sat down at the table, as matt gave me my plate of pizza.
"thanks matt"
he smiled, sitting opposite me
"how was your nap?"
"amazing. oh my gosh" i replied, making chris and matt laugh. "i feel so much better now"
"im happy to hear it" matt said, as we all started to eat our pizza. we talked about weird shit, like chris was telling me how nick slipped over the water in the bathroom, which made all of us laugh again.
i finished my pizza, and we all decided to go to chris' room to play some mario kart. i was baby mario, chris was mario and matt was waluigi (idk). matt kept winning, then i won the third game and chris won the last.

11:09pm
it was getting kinda late now. nick ended up deciding to sleep over at alahna's so he wasn't coming back. after what felt like hours of playing mario kart with matt and chris, i was getting tired. i brushed my teeth and got into my pajamas, then said goodnight to my brothers. we had a group hug, then i went to bed.

next day, 7:30am
i woke up, feeling like absolute shit. i didn't know why. i was fine after my nap yesterday. i think it was just because i knew i'd be going into school and be all by myself, considering sophie didn't seem to want to be seen with me. i didn't want to go in today. the thought just made me want to throw up, but i remembered i had double art last two periods, so i'd have something to look forward to anyway.

i got up, did my makeup and got dressed. my mom was gonna drop me off today because matt was still asleep. i was wearing a navy nike hoodie and my black cargos. it was rainy today, and i wasn't risking ruining my hair which i spent hours straightening.

in the car, 9:01am
"wow. it's really pelting down isn't it?" mom laughed. i smiled.
"is it gonna be raining like this all day?"
"no. not all day, it'll stop in like an hour or two" she replied, turning a corner. the rain was so heavy, it was literally crashing onto the windows of the car. we were running late because of all the traffic because of the bad weather.
we had arrived at school. my stomach turned, as i opened the door putting my hood up.
"bye honey, i love you" mom said, kissing my cheek. "bye mom, love you too." i smiled, about to get out, when i remembered- "wait wait, whose picking me up after school today?"
"i'll pick you up, your brothers are gonna go out for golf with dad this afternoon, considering it stops raining, so we can do something nice. maybe watch a movie or something" my mom said, a smile plastered on her face. that gave me a lot of comfort.
"that sounds perfect mom. i love you so much. have an amazing day"

i had gotten out the car and was making my way to my classroom. the halls were empty because homeroom started 10 minutes ago.
i arrived at my classroom, took a few deep breaths, and entered the room. it was busy, but no one noticed when i walked in. i saw my teacher at her desk, looking fed up. i don't know what about, but she noticed me.
"good morning maddie!" she said, snapping out of her mood, greeting me with a smile.
"good morning" i quietly replied back, making my way to the back. sophie wasn't there..
i looked forward, scanning the seats, and saw her sat with annabelle, anna and chloe. i felt my blood begin to boil. they were laughing away, again..
i clenched my fists, digging my nails into my palms, and sat down, full of anger. at least i was late, that meant i didn't have to be there an extra 10 minutes with that lying bitch. i went on my phone for the rest of homeroom, not taking my eye off it. i could sense sophie looking at me at some points, but i wasn't gonna look back at her. she left my messages from the yesterday on read, but i think that was also because she came up to me at the end of the day to say sorry. well next time i wasn't gonna accept it. if there was even gonna be a next time.

9:30am
the bell for first period rung. i had no motivation. i had double maths. fuck.
i slowly stood up and made my way out the classroom, faster than everyone else, and went to maths.

10:12am
it was now the second period of double maths. i hated this all so much. i didn't understand anything we were doing.. the teacher was strict as fuck and was too busy shouting at one of the boys the entire lesson instead of actually teaching us shit. thankfully, on the seating plan i was sat next to a lovely girl called macy.
macy never stopped talking, but not in an annoying way. she spoke to me about the most fucking funniest shit in the entire world, and it was so random too. it was one of the only things that got me through maths. also we were both equally as bad at the subject, so it made me feel less alone. i wish i could hang out with macy at lunch and break instead of being by myself or tagging around with sophie's new 'besties', but the thing is i don't have her snap, and i can never find her anywhere. the only time i ever see that kid is in maths. it's like she just disappears after.
but this lesson was different. i could feel my head spinning, and my breathing starting to uneven.
please no. not now. i cant have an anxiety attack now.
i looked around the classroom.. everyone else seemed to be understanding what we were doing, even macy seemed to. my leg was bouncing. i had already drunk everything in my water bottle, so my throat was beginning to dry up. my mind was racing, i could feel myself getting really hot and my cheeks were going red, and my palms were sweating.
i was shaking so much every time i picked my pencil up to write something, it just fell back down onto the paper.
come on, maddie, think of nice things to distract you. you've got double art last period!! think of how fun that will be!!
yeah.. but i have to get through the whole day first. i have to be by myself at break and lunch and get through history and drama, by the time it's double art i won't be able to enjoy it anymore.
remember what your big brother matt says: deep breaths. in through your nose and out through your mouth.
it wasn't working. i needed to leave this classroom. now.
"jack, i am warning you, if you interrupt my class one more time you will be getting sent out" my teacher bellowed at jack, who misbehaves literally every fucking lesson.
"what do you mean?! i was just asking my friend for help!!" he whined back. this was all too loud for me. i just needed both of them to be quiet and stop arguing like children.
my teacher continued to shout at jack, but how was i supposed to ask for his permission to leave the classroom when all his focus was on fucking jack? i looked over at macy, trembling. i didn't want to do it, but i had to ask for her help.
"macy" i whispered, my voice shaking.
"yeah?" she whispered back, looking at me. her face softened when she saw how much of a state i was in. "hey, are you okay?? what's wrong??"
i burst into tears, trying to be as quiet as possible. thoughts were rushing through my mind.
no one likes you, you fat ugly bitch. you have no friends. everyone just uses you for your brothers. you're so dumb. you cant do anything right. you should go die.
macy took my hand, and traced her thumb over it, trying to calm me down. her focus was on me, but i couldn't focus on her. i felt like i was gonna be sick. or pass out. or stop breathing. or die.
the noises were getting louder and louder. i looked at my teacher, who was practically screaming at jack, and jack who was screaming back. i couldn't do this.
i ran out of the room.