maddie sturniolo: the triplets younger sister♡

46 - walk

(15 mins later - maddie's pov)
matt shut the front door as i stepped outside the house, and i felt the warm sunshine hit my face. it was a good day outside. and i loved nature.
we headed down the street to near where the main shops were, whilst we spoke.
"i'm really happy to see that you're feeling happier. honestly." he said, giving me a warm smile. i smiled, still getting hesitant for what i was about to ask him.
"can i ask you something?"
"yes, of course, what is it?"
"well.." i began, as we turned a corner. "chris told me- last night, that you're like.. worried about me, and i just feel bad, because i don't really know what there is for you to worry about. because i think i have everything in control"
there was a brief silence, as he turned to look at me.
"chris told you that?"
i nodded, getting more anxious.
shit, was i not supposed to tell matt that?
"well, if you really wanna know.. of course i'm worried about you, kid. like, obviously today everything is going great for you, but recently i've been worried because you haven't left your room, you've been eating crap, and you haven't been going to school. so, yeah, there is quite a bit for me to have been worried about." he explained. "i just care about you."
"no, like, i get that you care about me and shit, but i don't want me being upset to get you upset. like you're allowed to live your life without worrying about me or you're never gonna be happy bruh"
i heard him take a deep breath, before he replied "unfortunately that's not really how it works. i would be a fucking horrible brother if i didn't care."
"but why do you show so much more concern way more than nick and chris then?"
we arrived at a crumbl cookies, and matt gestured for us to sit down at one of the outside tables.
"maddie, nick and chris are concerned, but the difference is i understand you more than anyone. anyone in this whole fucking world. i have anxiety as well, so when you aren't going to school and shit, i know exactly how you feel. you think you're lazy for not getting up and getting on with it, when really you're fighting a constant battle in your mind between you and your anxiety, and it never seems to stop." he explained. "i think i understand you more than i understand myself. and that's why i care about you and am so worried about you, because i don't want you to go through what i did when i was in high school."
i almost started tearing up. that was so sweet. i had no idea that's why he was so worried, but hearing it from his perspective made me see it completely differently.
"what was your anxiety like in school?" i asked, hoping not to sound too nosey.
"oh man." he began, chuckling, as i laughed a bit too. "let's just say it wasn't great. i think i pretty much missed 80 homerooms throughout the whole of high school, and mom always picked me up early and shit. do you remember when you were in, like... i don't know, 6th grade? and pretty much everyday mom and dad had to drag me into school?"
"oh shit, yeah i remember. oh my gosh, i completely remember that. i remember i thought you were so weird, but now i completely get it" i laughed, making matt laugh.
"wow, thanks maddie." he sarcastically remarked. "but seriously, maddie, i only worry about you because i care about you. and you can always trust me. i'm always here for you."
he held his hand out for me, and i put my hand in his and we did our handshake.
"now that we're here, can we get cookies?" i asked, eagerly. i knew how much my brothers hated crumbl because they were 'too sweet', and tbh i agreed with them most of the time, but some cookies sounded amazing right now.
he rolled his eyes.
"alright, fine. i'm only buying a pack of 4 though, not 6 like last time where no one ate any."

(10 mins later)
we were on our way back home now, and i was eating one of the cookies. the flavours this week weren't the best, but we got milk chocolate chip, oreo and pb, hazelnut mudslide and strawberry cheesecake. i was eating the milk chocolate chip one whilst matt carried the box, but it was beginning to get too sickly so i put the rest of the cookie back in the box for later.
"i'll eat the rest later" i said, making a weird face at how sweet it had gotten. matt laughed.
"that's exactly why i hate crumbl cookies."
as we carried on walking up the street, i suddenly remembered something.
"um.. mom and dad mentioned me going to talk to your therapist at some point, lisa?"
he looked at me.
"oh yeah, lisa! she's great, i think she'll really help you" he said, then suddenly changing expression when he noticed how on edge i looked. "why? is that a problem for you?"
"no- it's not, it's just that like.. i don't know i just find it hard to open up to people i don't really know. like i just have really bad trust issues i guess." i explained, realising how stupid i sounded. but to my surprise, matt nodded.
"i completely get how you feel. when i first started seeing lisa, like two years ago, i was the exact same way. it's weird opening up to people you literally just met, but these people are professionally trained to help you. they got a degree and everything, and you can really trust lisa. she's amazing." he smiled, putting an arm around me. "if you trust me, trust lisa. when are you supposed to be seeing her?"
"tomorrow, i think."
"it'll be good, i promise."
we arrived back home, and matt realised he forgot his keys inside so we had to ring the doorbell. chris answered, but immediately started gagging when he saw the box of crumbl cookies.
"not crumbl cookies matt- please get them away from me"
we both started laughing at chris' obscure reaction as i took my shoes off. i thanked matt for the walk and the advice and headed to my room to relax for a bit. me and macy were gonna call a bit after lunch, and i was looking forward to it.