maddie sturniolo: the triplets younger sister♡

38 - car video

(7:03pm same day, maddie's pov)
"maddie? are you okay?"
i opened my eyes to see nick sitting on the edge of my bed. when did i fall asleep? my eyes must've grown so heavy from crying that i cried myself to sleep.
"what time is it?" i asked him.
"it's just turned 7pm. are you still coming with us to film the car video you said you wanted to be in?" he gently muttered.

fuck i forgot about that. a few days ago we agreed that i would be in a car video and i guess we were filming it today. out of all days. i couldn't say no though, and ruin my brothers plans. nick looked like he was ready to go, he had his shoes on and everything.

"okay, y-yeah, i'll be down in five minutes" i stuttered, sitting up.
"alright, we'll wait for you in the car" he said, patting my back. he shut my door and left. i made my way over to my mirror and stared at myself.

it felt like the beginning of high school all over again.

i was still in the clothes i wore earlier, obviously, but my hair was a mess, my eyes were puffy and red and i felt like shit. i didn't feel like telling my family that macy was moving would be the best idea yet. i didn't want to believe it was true, and if i told them, i would end up being even more upset than before.
i put on my shoes, brushed my hair and grabbed my phone and made my way out of the house to the car. i hopped into the back with nick, and shut the door. matt and chris were in their usual seats at the front as matt started driving.
"this is gonna be so sick dude. everyone's been wanting a video with you for ages, mad dawg" chris smiled, scrolling through his phone.
"mhm" i muttered, forcing a smile as i looked out the window.

my mind kept drifting off to macy. as i watched the buildings pass by, i felt my heart fall to the bottom of my stomach as i remembered they would be empty without macy. we drove past the park where me and macy got ice cream on that one hot day after school. tears pricked my eyes but i managed to blink them away. i took some deep breaths whilst my brothers spoke amongst themselves.

"we're gonna probably get mcdonald's i'd say" matt said
"good. i'm fucking starving" nick responded. we were almost at the mcdonald's, but i wasn't feeling too hungry. i had completely lost my appetite.

we arrived at the mcdonald's drive through, and nick ordered for everyone. when it came to my order, he looked at me.
"maddie, what do you want?"
"i'm not hungry, it's fine"
"you sure?"
"yeah"
he stared at me for a moment, then back to the drive through screen
"and we'll just get one small fries with that please. thank you."
i said i wasn't fucking hungry, but alright i guess.

the food came, and matt drove to the nearest car park and parked. matt and chris got out the car to adjust the camera and the lights in the car were now on so there was good lighting, as it was beginning to get dark outside. i held the fries, but wasn't going to eat them. i felt nicks arm rub my shoulder. i turned to look at him.
"you okay?"
i nodded.
"yeah, i'm fine"
"you sure?"
i nodded again, not saying anything. i looked out the window, and then matt and chris came back in.
"right, let's start" chris began.

(15 mins later)
we had been filming for around fifteen minutes now. i hadn't really done anything, or spoken. this was supposed to be them interviewing me or some shit like that, but i really just didn't have enough energy. i knew i was ruining it, i could tell from the way my brothers were acting that they were beginning to get annoyed. they were just talking with each other about some random stuff.
"nick, no- oh my god. you can't just fucking say that it's okay to drink pickle juice out the pickle jar. that's PUTRID" chris said, making everyone laugh.
"no, chris, it's not. maddie, what do you think about pickle juice?" nick asked me. i turned my head towards him.
"um, yeah, i agree with chris" i murmured, looking out the window again. it was silent for a few seconds.
"right, maddie, what's up? why aren't you doing anything? you wanted to be in a video, so you're here. why aren't you talking?" chris asked, leaning forward to turn off the camera. i looked at him.
"what do you mean? i'm just really tired" i said. they looked at each other.
"do you wanna just film the video another day?" matt suggested. i nodded. chris nodded in agreement.
"alright then. if that's what you guys really want." chris said, continuing to stuff his face with the fries. i looked back out the window, feeling empty.

i didn't wanna do this. i couldn't do this without macy. how was i gonna do it?
my best friend is leaving me just like sophie did. and then if i ever find a new best friend, she'll probably leave as well. no one ever wants to be friends with me. the sturniolo triplets sister. that's all i'm ever known as in my town.
i could feel tears rolling down my face now. i needed to get out the car, but i couldn't just leave. it was dark, and i didn't know where i would go. it was cold too. i tried to focus on my breathing but nothing worked. i began to shake.

"these fries go craaaazy dude" chris said. i could see him in the reflection still eating them. that kid had been eating those fries for years now. it was like an endless box of fries. then i saw matt and nick looking at me in the reflection, and whispering. nick picked up the fries off my lap, and held them up.
"do you not want these?" he gently asked.
then, i lost it.
i shook my head, bringing my knees to my chest. the tears wouldn't stop flowing, and in that moment, for the first time in ages, i felt broken.