maddie sturniolo: the triplets younger sister♡

19 - upset

(thursday, 11:37am)
me and macy had just come out of maths and now we were going to our separate lessons. i had drama and she had art, then it was lunch.
"that maths lesson was something else" she laughed. i didn't laugh. i was zoned out thinking about yesterday.
when i got home i didn't feel like doing anything because i was so mentally exhausted, nick brought my food up to my room but i wasn't hungry. he tried getting me to tell him what was wrong but i didn't answer. i just faced the other way until he eventually left.

"you good?" macy asked, bringing me back to reality.
"what? oh, yeah i'm fine" i lied
"you sure? you don't have to lie"
i stared into space, and shrugged
"hey, don't think about it too much. ok? remember what i said. none of it is true. she's just jealous of you ok? and she's a fucking attention seeker"
i smiled at macy.
"thank you macy. you're the best"
then we parted ways to our separate lessons.

(7:37pm)
i was in my bed, on my phone with trevor. i was feeling really really sad. the anger that i had originally felt towards sophie had now turned into sadness. i was starting to believe everything she had said and i couldn't stop thinking about it. it shouldn't be bothering me this much but it was. i was shuddering at the thought of going into school again tomorrow.
in school every time i went past her she gave me dirty looks. macy gave her dirty looks back. i didn't want sophie to get mad at macy for this, but i just let her do it anyways because of how infuriated i was.
i sighed, as someone knocked on my door. i didn't get to answer before it opened, but it was just nick. he stared at me, in silence.
"what?"
"dinners ready" he finally said, gesturing for me to get out of bed. trevor jumped out of the bed and sped downstairs. he understood the word 'dinner' and probably thought it was time for him to eat.
i rolled my eyes, before pulling myself out of bed. nick noticed.
"wow, what's with the attitude?"
"stop, nick. i'm not in the mood." i mumbled, going to the kitchen.
he didn't answer, just followed me..
i sat down at the table with my other brothers, and started eating my chicken nuggets. they had ordered burger king. i liked burger king but i just wasn't that hungry. i stopped eating less than halfway through, going on my phone.
"aren't you gonna eat the rest? you barely ate anything" chris said, pointing at the nuggets. i shook my head.
"i don't feel good" i said.
if i lied and said i didn't feel well they would let me go back to my room.
"in what way?" nick asked.
"i just wanna lie down. can i go to my room?" i asked. they looked at each other
"alright"
i nodded, taking my phone and speeding to my room.

(10:03pm)
i hadn't bothered showering tonight. i didn't feel like it. i hadn't brushed my teeth yet, and i hadn't really spoken to anyone apart from my brothers for like two minutes at dinner. i had practically been glued to my bed since i got home. i just felt lost, and confused.
chris suddenly came into my room, making me jump. he was headed over to my bedside table to steal my charger.
"sorry, can i take this for like thirty minutes"
"i'm going to bed soon"
"oh" he realised "ok, well goodnight"
he came over and gave me a hug. i sighed again.
"are you still feeling unwell?"
"a bit. but i'll be fine" i said, trying not to worry him.
"alright, just let one of us know if you want anything. love you bubs"
"i love you too"
he smiled, tired, closing my door.

(11:37pm)
i had only decided to turn my phone off and go to bed at 11:30. 7 minutes ago.
my eyes weren't shutting. i was just staring at the ceiling, feeling empty. my eyes went over to my mirror infront of me, covered with polaroids of me and sophie over the years that nick had taken of us.
then i just started crying. it felt like my whole world was crashing down on me. i felt so hopeless. all the feelings i thought i had left behind were coming back. and no one could save me now.
"no one will ever like you because of your anxiety"
"i wish i never met you"
"sadistic bitch"
"fuck you and fuck your brothers too"

(matt's pov)
i had just gotten out of the shower and went to my room to get changed. i wore my white nike jumper and my black pajama pants. i lay on my bed, going on my phone, when i could hear noises from maddie's room. it sounded like laughter, but it meant she was still awake, which wasn't good because she would be exhausted for school tomorrow.
i edged closer to the wall to try and hear what was going on, but my heart broke when i realised she wasn't laughing. she was crying.
i got out of bed and headed to her room to check on her. i listened for a few more secs outside her door to make sure i was right, then slowly turned the doorknob.

(maddie's pov)
my vision was all blurry from crying and my cheeks and the front pieces of my hair were wet. my nose was all blocked and i kept hiccuping from the tears.
i could just make out my door open, as the light from the hallway entered my room. i couldn't see who it was, because i covered my face with my hands, but then i heard the door shut. i felt a dip in my bed as a hand rubbed my leg.
"hey what's wrong?" he softly asked.
it was matt.
i shook my head, rubbing my eyes.
"hey it's okay, you can talk to me. what's up?" he asked, brushing his hand against my cheek trying to calm me down.
"the whole thing with sophie just got even worse" i sobbed, my voice trembling and hoarse. he nodded.
"what happened?"
i explained to him everything, as he nodded, and every time i stopped he encouraged me to carry on.
"oh baby" he frowned, as i hiccuped and sniffled. "oh babe- why would she do that??"
i shrugged
"i don't know but it really upset me"
he scratched my head as i continued to cry.
"i don't blame you, i would be upset too. anyone would" he began "who the fuck does she think she is? she can't say those things about you"
i sniffed, out of control as tears continued to spill from my eyes.
"and bubba, none of it is true. none of it. absolutely none of it is true at all. your anxiety doesn't determine your value as a person, and you wanna know what i'm gonna say about her being happy you're not her friend anymore?" he paused. "her loss. alright? she lost an amazing girl who cared about her and wanted to be with her all the time. you lost a jealous, rude girl who only cares about popularity. and her new bitchy friends."
i nodded, whimpering, still unable to stop crying. i just couldn't believe any of the words matt was saying to me. i knew it was all true but i just didn't believe any of it.
"hey, focus on my breathing" he said, intertwining his hand with mine and rubbing the back of my hand. "she doesn't deserve you. she doesn't deserve you at all sweetie. don't forget that."
i nodded, more and more tears leaving my eyes.
"please can i stay home tomorrow i really don't wanna go in" i trembled, my voice breaking.
"of course you can, sweetheart. i'll look after you tomorrow. you need a day off." he said. i didn't think he would let me but i felt relief flood through me when he said yes.
"thank you matt"
"don't be silly. i'm always here for you. always. come give me a hug."
i sat up as he wrapped his arms around me, rubbing my back. i rested my head on his shoulder, wiping my eyes. i was still sniffing.
"shhh" he whispered, holding me tighter and holding the back of my head.

(12:45am)
matt had run me a warm bath, and i was just getting out of it. he was lying in my bed because i didn't want to be by myself tonight and i knew i would sleep better if my brother was here. i had brushed my teeth and was feeling more refreshed now. my eyes were tired from all the crying. i was tired.
i came back into my room and got into bed. matt was sat up slightly so i could rest my head on his lap. i snuggled into his side as he put his arm around me, rubbing my arm which lulled me to sleep.

(matt's pov)
i think she was asleep. her breathing had become more steady and she was still. i had messaged nick and chris saying that she was staying home from school tomorrow.

trips3️⃣

You: Maddie is going to stay home tomorrow
You: She was really upset about some school things and she just fell asleep
You: I'm sleeping in her room tonight

Chris🍊🍊: Oh shit what happened?

You: I don't know if she would want me to say, just some friend issues

Chris🍊🍊: Dang okay
Chris🍊🍊: Is she feeling any better now?

You: Dunno
You: Shes sleeping

Chris🍊🍊: Alright
Chris🍊🍊: I'm worried about that kid

You: Me too
You: She'll be okay, Chris, she just needs to be at home tomorrow. School will just make her feel ten times worse.
You: I'll message mom saying to email the school

i assumed nick was asleep because he wasn't responding. i played with maddie's hair whilst i stayed on my phone for around another hour, then i went to bed.