maddie sturniolo: the triplets younger sister♡

45 - new start

(the next morning - maddie's pov)
i woke up to the light entering my room from the blinds. i rubbed my eyes and immediately looked to my right to check i wasn't alone, and i sure wasn't. nick was sleeping on his side facing the other way.
phew
i looked at my phone, which read 9:43am. it was still kind of early for me. it was saturday, so i wasn't gonna be doing much today. not like i did anything during the week either, but at least today my family wouldn't try persuade me to go to school.
i closed my eyes again, but i wasn't tired enough to fall back asleep, so i decided to get up.
as i stood up, i realised i was still tired, but not in a falling asleep tired. like a mentally tired feeling, probably from last nights shenanigans.
i quietly headed to my closet, making sure to not wake up nick, and put on a black oversized hoodie. i put the hood over my head and headed down to the kitchen to make myself a bowl of froot loops. my parents were sitting at the table, talking amongst themselves.
"good morning, sweetie, how did you sleep?" mom smiled. i headed to the cereal cabinet and opened it.
"good" i responded "where are the froot loops?"
"don't worry about that, i'll make you something. come sit down, we want to talk to you really quickly"
i turned around, my heart skipping a beat.
was i in trouble?
"don't worry, you haven't done anything, we just want to talk to you about something" dad said, giving me a comforting smile. i took his word, and slowly made my way over to sit next to him, opposite marylou
"so.." she began. "last night."
how did they know?
chris must've told them
i nodded, slowly, not sure where this was heading.
"how long has this been going on for?" she asked, in a gentle understanding voice. i was confused.
"what?"
"the separation anxiety. chris explained everything to us when you were asleep" dad said.
"oh" i replied.
this was awkward
"um.. it's been going on for quite a while now. i'm sorry, i don't wanna be like overdramatic or anything but-"
"no, sweetie we understand. we understand completely. we'd be horrible parents if we didn't." my mom said, as a flood of relief rushed over me. i knew my parents were always understanding. heck, they were the worlds best parents. but i just thought they'd start to grow fed up of me because i'm such a hassle with all my anxiety and mental health problems, but again that's how i felt with everyone. as matt would say, it's just the anxiety talking.
"thank you guys" i said, exhaling deeply. "yeah, well, it's been happening a lot and i don't know what happened last night, but i had a really scary nightmare. it's just getting really bad and i'm scared."
my dad put his arm around me and rubbed my arm.
"it's okay, we are going to work through it together" he reassured me. my mom gave me a sympathetic smile.
"yeah, me and your brothers were talking last night, and we were wondering if you wanted to tomorrow maybe come with me to talk to matts therapist, sheila?" she asked.
hold up
"therapist?" i repeated.
"yep. sheila is very good, ask matt" she started "she's been working with matt for almost a year now, she's great at dealing with anxiety and stuff like this. i think you would really benefit from speaking to her, but i suppose it's up to you what you want to do"
i knew that speaking to a therapist would be an amazing idea, but i didn't trust people i didn't know so easily. again this is related to my fear of abandonment, but what if this 'sheila' woman judged me? what if she thought the separation anxiety was stupid? because it kind of is..
my dad noticed i wasn't paying attention, and i guess he kind of read my mind.
"maddie, don't worry, sheila is an amazing therapist and she does her job very well. if there's one person you can trust, it's definitely her." he said. i looked at him.
this was gonna be difficult, but for once i needed to do the thing that was gonna help me get better and not make me take five steps back
i sighed
"okay. but just not first thing in the morning please."
they both smiled.
"great. i'll let her know." mom smiled. "i'll make you some pancakes."
"yep, and i'm gonna take trevor on a wa-"
my dad paused, getting up, as we both looked at him.
"sorry. i forgot. cant take the dog on walks anymore."
me and my mom laughed at my dad.
"oh yeah, what happened with trevor?" i asked, curiously, as my dad left the room and my mom headed over to the stove.
"he has a minor fracture to his arm, so he has a cast now. i think he slept in matt's room."
omg. matt.
that reminded me
i needed to go talk to matt today and make sure he's not worried about me
after my conversation with chris yesterday i have had a whole new insight on myself and trying to better myself because i don't want my family worrying about me. also i'm sick and tired of not being able to do anything independently anymore. today was gonna be a new day for me.

(after breakfast)
i thanked my mom for breakfast once i finished.
man those pancakes were good. maybe this was the start of a new healthier diet, instead of my usual froot loops bowl with a can of monster to wash it down.
i headed up to my room, which nick was still asleep in, and thought for a moment.
i should probably have a shower, then do my skincare, then my makeup, and then i'll go talk to matt. and maybe i'll even get a bit of electric guitar practice in for the first time in ages.
that sounded like a good plan.

i headed to the bathroom and got into the shower. i decided to also wash my hair considering how greasy it was.
as i washed the shampoo and conditioner out, i felt way cleaner than i had before. feeling clean is a great feeling, and i had so much motivation to do things today.
if this is the side effects of having a nightmare, i'll have nightmares everyday
my hair felt so nice and smooth and the smell of shampoo filled the room. i rinsed out the conditioner one last time and got out the shower and wrapped myself in a towel. my hair was dripping wet, so i towel dried it real quick then i did my skincare, which didn't take too long because i just washed my face, applied toner, some serums and moisturiser. my skin somehow hadn't been breaking out even though i hadn't done skincare in ages. it felt good?

anyways. i got dressed into an outfit to match todays weather, because i wasn't like one of those girls who wears tank tops and shorts when it's freezing out.
i checked the weather, it was actually looking pretty decent so i wore a blank tank top and my adidas track pants. once i had put it on, i put on one of my necklaces (one that my mom got me a few years back) and i put in my gold hoops. i didn't feel like wearing rings today because i'd be drying my hair soon, and they always got in the way when i was dealing with my hair.
it was starting to feel like old times again.

(35 minutes later)
i had just finished straightening my hair, and i sprayed some nice perfume on myself. i had also put some makeup on because why tf not. i looked in the mirror and couldn't help but smile. i looked so much better than i had looked in ages.
i re entered my room to put away the straightener and saw nick awake, on his phone in my bed.
"good morning!" i smiled. he looked at me.
"good morning, you look nice" he said, tired.
"thank you!!" i smiled.
"you feeling okay?"
"yeah, i feel great"
he smiled.
"i'm glad" he replied.
it felt so good to feel good because it makes others feel good too. and i love making other people feel good.
"i'm gonna go downstairs for a bit now- goodbye!"
i headed out my room, and right as i was about to go down the stairs, i heard matts voice from behind me.
"maddie?"
i turned around, and saw matt standing outside his room looking tired, but he had a smile plastered across his face. like a proud sorta smile.
"hi matt" i chuckled. he didn't say anything.
"wow, you're in a good mood"
i laughed
"i am. im feeling really good today"
"i'm really happy to hear that" he smiled, coming over to me, heading to the bathroom.
fuck. i need to talk to him whilst i have the chance and make sure he's not worried.
"wait- matt-"
he turned around. i hesitated. this was gonna sound corny as fuck.
"can we talk? about something? like when you're done?"
BRUH WHY DID I SOUND LIKE THAT
"yes, of course. wanna go on a walk? i'll be ready in like fifteen minutes"
i smiled
"that sounds perfect"