maddie sturniolo: the triplets younger sister♡

40 - recently

(a few weeks later - maddie's pov)
tw: mentions of panic attacks and not eating
the next few weeks were very tough. very very tough for me. without macy, i was hopeless. i had been back in school but i had barely attended. what was i supposed to do without my best friend by my side? school wasn't fun anymore. school was hell. pretty much everyday either matt or my mom had to pick me up early because i couldn't handle it. i didn't know what was wrong with me but it felt like my mental health was really getting so much worse.
of course i had still been talking to macy. i had been facetiming her pretty much every night. i was very happy that we hadn't drifted, like me and sophie did before she went savage. maybe matt was right, me and macy's bond was unbreakable.
macy didn't seem to be enjoying nebraska either. i remember when we facetimed after her first day at her new school, she was balling her eyes out. she told me how horrible it was and how the school was full of bitches, even more than my high school. apparently nebraska is nothing like massachusetts, and she feels so alone. i'm glad i'm not the only one who is feeling so shit, and i'm gonna be honest here when i say i've had so much trouble sleeping recently. me and macy went through a phase where we would facetime all night from our ipads whilst we slept, basically a virtual sleepover, but this only lasted a few days because our ipads tended to overheat and also the battery would end up dying.
when i wasn't having ipad sleepovers with macy, i slept in one of my brothers rooms or with trevor. i hated being alone now, because i felt like when i woke up i would be all by myself, seeing as half my friends have left me. i think i've pretty much developed abandonment issues from my family which is also stopping me going to school.
life is just really sucking recently. i'm so behind on my school work too, and i've been oversleeping and not eating much. my family are all worried about me and i'm worried about myself too. my phone constantly beeps with emails from my teachers. i've only responded to one and that's mr jackson, my art teacher. aka the only teacher who cares about me. he emails me every so often giving me new painting or sketching ideas, because art holds a very special
place in my heart and helps with my anxiety a lot. as well as playing the electric guitar, but i haven't been practicing it much recently. it's so much of a hassle to set up and for a person with no energy to do anything, setting up things won't work for me. listening to electric guitar riffs will do the job. anyways, back to mr jackson-

From: Mr H Jackson
To: Maddie Sturniolo
Subject: Checking in + art this week
Dear Maddie,
How are you? I thought it would be a good idea to catch up with you because I noticed you haven't been attending school recently. Art has definitely not been the same with you! I've missed your artwork, it brings life to my classroom and that's one of the things I love most about teaching.
I've attached some paintings down below incase you felt up to some painting at home, maybe you can become inspired by these! Also, I loved the painting you did of your dog, Trevor. What breed is he? Is he a pug? I love pugs!
I really do hope that everything is okay at home. I know how difficult it can be to attend school right now given the circumstances, but just know that if you ever need someone to talk to, I am all ears. Whether that's by email or in school, please do not be afraid to come and visit me in the art studio.
Hope you have a great week! Send me any photos of paintings you do and more of Trevor!!
-Mr J :)

i smiled reading that email. it felt really good to know that people cared, especially when it was a teacher. i've never really had strong relationships with my teachers because i've never trusted them, but i feel like i can trust mr jackson with anything. he understands me. i feel like he suffered with anxiety in school, and maybe that's why he cares so deeply. or i'm just overthinking it.

From: Maddie Sturniolo
To: Mr H Jackson
Hi Mr Jackson,
Thank you so much for sending me these and for checking up on me. This email has made my day and I really appreciate it. I'm going to try and attend school on a day we have art because it makes the day a lot easier for me. It's just been hard for me to cope with myself in school. I don't expect you to understand, but knowing that you care is enough.
And yes, my dog Trevor is a puggle, a mix of a pug and beagle. When I have some time I am for sure going to do a painting, and I attached some photos of Trevor!!
See you hopefully next week,
Maddie Sturniolo

i smiled, before turning my phone off and going to sleep, even though it was barely 4pm.

(matt's pov - 4:38pm)
"seems like she's asleep" chris quietly said, careful not to wake her up. we were stood outside her room with the door open slightly.
maddie had not been doing great recently. she barely ever left her room or spoke to any of us, apart from at night where she had been sleeping in one of our rooms pretty much every night. we all understood why, macy leaving hadn't been doing any good for maddie, and she was barely going to school, or when she did she would be picked up early. don't get me wrong, i understand her completely. i was in the same position as her when i was in high school when i never attended school, but it hurts seeing someone you love so much and someone who is a good person suffer. maddie doesn't deserve to feel like this, and if i could i would swap places with her in an instant just to see her smile again. that smile lights up the whole world. she hadn't been eating much food either, no matter how hard we tried to help her. when she did eat food, it was junk food. like just packs of chocolate, monster energy drinks, or whole tubs of ice cream. now i know i'm not one to call people out for eating junk food, as i'm pretty much addicted to root beer and i'm pretty sure chris' pepsi addiction has gotten 50x worse, but she isn't in healthy habits right now. and we're gonna try and help her.
me and chris watched her sleeping, worried. her room was a mess, no wonder she wasn't sleeping in it.
"i'm really worried about her" i murmured. chris placed a hand on my shoulder and rubbed it.
"me too. maybe we can order some chick fil a for when she wakes up, seeing as mom and dad are out tonight" chris suggested. chick fil a sounded good right now. i knew maddie liked it too, so hopefully that would lure her out of her room and encourage her to eat with us.
"alright bet" i responded, before we went to chris' room to play some video games. nick was out at alahna's again, but he would be coming back home in time for dinner.
i was still pretty uneased for the rest of that afternoon, but the thought of us four siblings having dinner together for the first time in ages gave me a sense of comfort.

HEY EVERYONE!! IM BACK AND WITH LOTS OF MOTIVATION
i'm currently on holiday in florida as well as revising for exams. great combo, but i didn't think i'd get another chapter out until the end of my holiday which is over a week away but i guess not. i hope u guys enjoy and let's hope i've got a few more chapters out before the end of the month. love u all ❤️