Girl Meets Closet

Chapter 12: Girl Meets Feelings

TRIGGER WARNING: PANIC ATTACK/PTSD FLASHBACK

------Time Skip------

"....son."

My eyes fluttered open, before closing again. 

"Jason… JASON!" 

I gasped, and sat up, before groaning as my head hit something hard and I crashed back on the ground.

"Ow!" I exclaimed, rubbing my head ruefully, before opening my eyes again.

I looked around before seeing anything clearly, and when I looked at Lucas, he was also rubbing his head, moaning slightly in pain, sitting next to me. His head had been leaning down, almost like…

"Oh, crap! Sorry man!" I said, sitting up once more, while scooting away from the boy who rescued me.

"No, no, don't apologize, I'm the one who should be apologizing."

You’re not the one who fell into the water, I thought. I shifted away from him and sat up, before looking out over the lake and crossing my arms,  and clenching my hands into fists to try and bring some semblance of warmth to my fingers. I shifted, trying to find a comfortable spot to sit.

When I finally rested, I waited for Lucas to say anything else. But he seemed content to just sit, though I could feel his eyes as he continued to stare at me.

“Well?” I said, turning to face my rescuer.

“Well, what?”

Well what my butt, I mocked internally. “I know you want to ask why.”

Lucas looked into my eyes, but I wasn’t able to tell what for. His green eyes locked into mine for a few moments, just enough to make it awkward.

“Do I?” He asked.

I blinked in surprise. “What?”

“Do I want to know why you were in the lake?”

Well, crap, this is confusing.

“That’s… why I asked you? Because I don’t know if you do or not, and I kinda don’t really want to explain.”

He nodded, before looking away. I did too, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

For a few moments, we sat there, just looking out over the lake, watching kites on the other side as kids flew them, their parents standing and smiling. The clouds overhead began to darken slowly as the wind blew in the beginning of a spring rainstorm. We could hear the distant sound of laughter and smell the fresh spring breeze around us.

But the silence was overwhelming.

And I had to know.

“Lucas?”

“Jason?”

“Why did you save me?”

“... I saved you because it’s the right thing to do.” He said, looking back at me in confusion. “Do I need another reason?”

I quickly raised my hands in defense, before wildly gesturing and looking around, anywhere but at him. “No, no, I just… I didn’t think that anyone was going to be there, and, uh, god, I don’t even know why I thought this in the first place, but after what just happened at Topanga’s and just barely, I thought maybe-”

“-That I wouldn’t save you?” He cut in, turning fully to face me. “Jason, why would you ever think that?”

Well, that’s a whole can of worms I didn’t want to be opening right now. And one I was dangerously close to breaking down over. My anxiety was already high from almost drowning, and I could feel it bubbling under my skin, ready to break free.