Awsten Knight X male reader oneshots.

ended yet close

!!ANGST!!

TW FOR DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE

ITS SHORT, BASICALLY ABOUT AWSTENS SUICIDE

Awsten grabbed the light black pen, shaking out of fear of himself. He clicked the pen and slowly started to press the small tip to the lined paper.

I'm sorry. If you're reading this, the worst has happened. Nobody thinks of me but you anymore. You're on tour and were away for my birthday a couple days ago and you bought me my favorite Italian food. Nobody else got anything for me. They all forgot. you didn't. I know were just friends that happen to live in the same house, but I love you. Y/N I have been in love with you for years but I haven't had the time to say it. Or the courage. So why not say it when I'm dead and you can't judge me?

I wish I could feel your beautiful yet deep hands holding mine again like we did when we tried to convince our fans we were dating. I wish you could cup my cheeks and take care of me like you did when I was sick. I wish you could do that cute thing when you ruffle my hair then get worried you made me upset and meticulously put it back just like it was before. I wish I could feel your breath against my neck when you dye my hair. I want to see, feel, hear every single quirk you have again. But nothing is worth surviving this but you. And with you gone for the next 1 and a half months I can't do it

So I quit. I'm getting tired. Very tired. I took like 20 benadryl tablets. I'm scared for myself, but I can't survive when everyone isn't you.

This is my farewell, Y/N. May you live in prosperity. Find a good boyfriend to love after me. Find life. live one I always wish I could get but couldn't from the stressors.

From someone who loves you the most, A.Knight.

As he tapped the pen for the last time, he fell to the ground sobbing.

Positive ending here! TW for puke though. For the negative ending, scroll until you see a line of these *******

"Aws? Awsten?" A worried Y/N calls from the door. He hadn't heard from him in 2 days, and this was irregular. Although he sometimes did phone breaks, he told people. And nobody else had heard from him either, so he decided to go to Houston for their week long break before the north American tour, as they just finished Europe. Usually they would hang out in a new country for a week before they had to come back to the US, but he decided to go home. He needed to see his Awsten.

"Y-y/n..." A somber call from the bathroom echoed through the boys ears.

"Awsten!" Y/N bolted to the scene, opening the door and seeing a disheveled Awsten, covered in puke. "What happened?"

"I-i-i dont-" he quickly fell unconscious as Y/N grabbed his phone and called 911

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"He'll be fine." The doctor said softly. "He took way too much to be safe, but he thankfully puked up enough medication. You found him at the perfect time though, a day later and Benadryl would have reeked havoc on his insides and he would've been paralyzed until death 2 or so weeks later."

"Thank god." Y/N sighed and leaned back on his seat, smiling.

"You can visit if you like." The doctor smiled at the boy, and started walking away. Y/N stood up and quickly opened the glass door he had been sitting by, looking at the sight.

Awsten was staring at the ceiling, looking hurt. Multiple tubes pierced in his arm. Y/N quickly walked to the scene, picking up the boys hand. It was silent, until Awsten squeezed the boys hand and softly spoke.

"I love you" Awsten whispered.

"I love you too man." Y/N said quietly as tears ran down his face.

"No, I love you. I really really love you." Awsten started to shed a tear.

"What..? I- oh my god really I-" the boys face was red. Awsten couldn't tell if it was from being flustered or embarrassed. Awsten built up the little strength he had and grabbed Y/N's neck, pushing them to his.

Quickly after, Y/N got used to it. The kiss  deepened, before Y/N gently pulled away.

"I love you too Awsten."

*******************Negative ending.

"Awsten, I'm home." Y/N called. Awsten hadn't texted him lately. He was worried, but he often did a phone cleanse where he just would not use his phone. He had done it for 4 months before, 1 and a half wouldn't be surprising. But then again, Awsten never did a phone cleanse when Y/N's band was on tour so he could talk to him. He walked through the house, Tyler the creator got louder as he approached Awsten's producing room.

"Aws, you there?" He knocked. No response. "Awsten?" He knocked again. No response. "Aws if you don't respond I'm gonna open the door and won't feel bad for interrupting your thoughts." No response.

He slowly opened the door, falling backwards at the sight.

Awsten was laid on the floor in the fetal position. His skin was pale. His mouth hung open an inch. His hands rested over his knees, painted an ice cold blue.

"AWSTEN??" Y/N started to cry as he tried to wake him up. He just sobbed and sobbed as he called 911, finding a note and reading it. Grabbing Awsten's cold hands and gripping them tight.

"I LOVE YOU! PLEASE WAKE UP!! PLEASE! NO NO NO!!"

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I'm so good at this