Unforeseen Resolutions (Complete)

Chapter Twenty-one

Alex POV

I grab the thermal disposable cup and groan when I finish the last of my coffee. I already know it’s going to be a long day and it’s just begun. I look around the room and try to enjoy my last few seconds of peace and quiet before…the door opens and the moment is gone.

I just stand here as I watch them all filing into the room. Some of them seem happy to be here, some look half-asleep and miserable. I can tell already from their faces, none of them want to be here right now. I clear my throat and all eyes are on me.

“I am Mr. Hinsley, and this is Senior British Literature.”

After my little introduction I turn and grab the stack of syllabus to pass out. I take them and walk around the room, demanding silence as they wait. As I make my way to the back I find a hermit of a girl sitting with one foot on her seat, her arm wrapped around her bent leg. She is drawing, no dooling more like it, in a book but I can’t help but to think that what she drew was interesting, possibly a good tattoo idea. I laid the syllabus on top of her picture. My class was not the place for such activities. She was surprised and looked up at me. Seeing my stern glare she quickly closed the book and shoved it in her hoodie pocket…like I didn’t see it on her desk. Hmm…day one and I already know how her year will play out in my class.

~~~

“What are you thinking about?”

Anna’s groggy voice pulls me from my day dream. I move closer to her bed and hold her hand.

“I was actually thinking about the day we met.” I smile down at her.

“You couldn’t get enough of me in that dress.” She smirks at me.

I laugh. “Actually, I was thinking about the first day of school. When I first saw you in my classroom.”

“Oh.”

She grew quiet like she was deep in thought thinking about that day. Does she even remember that day? It was so insignificant at the time. But now I think back and wonder how I didn’t see it. How was I so blind for so long? We wasted so much time being stupid and blind.

“Where’s Xander?” She asks.

“The nurse took him to the nursery for a while so you could get some rest.”

She nods. I watch her, trying to read her emotions. She slept for almost twelve hours before waking up after surgery. After holding Xander and struggling to nurse for the first time, Dr. Hill came into the room to explain everything that happened to her. It was rough. At first Anna started to shut down but then she started to cry. I just held her, not knowing what to say or do. I tried to get her to eat but only got a couple nibbles out of her before she fell back to sleep with exhaustion.

Guilt has been eating at me. I did this to her. She’s so young…and I ruined her. She should have gone off to college, made friends, met someone her own age, grown up and gotten married and had babies years from now. But then another part of me hates how much time we wasted being apart from one another. I could have lost her and that made all the stupid things that kept us apart more ridiculous.

“Hey…where’d you go?” she shakes the hand holding hers.

I just shake my head and smile down at her.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’ve been better.”

“Do you want me to ring the nurse?” I reach for the call button but she stops me.

“No, I’m fine for now.”

She falls quiet.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know what to say?...I’m still in shock.”

“I love you.” That's all I could think to say.

“I love you too.”

I move to give her a kiss but she groans in pain when my arm brushes the side of her breast.

“I think it’s time to try and nurse again.”

I carefully kiss her before leaving to find the nurse.

I know she probably doesn’t mind but I leave the room to give her and the nurse space to try nursing again. I guess it’s not as easy as it seems. I stayed the first time and there were different positions, good and bad latching, let down and swelling, and a lot of other things I didn’t understand. I make my way to the cafeteria where I find James and Hunter. I sit down with them and try to listen to their discussion but I’m honestly too tired.

“So how’s it feel to be a dad?” James asks.

“uh…One moment you are filled with this beautiful bliss, staring down at his precious face, then another moment later you are filled with complete fear and terror because he is the most precious thing in the world and you are his only protector and provider.” I admit as I stare off at nothing.

“He is pretty cute, looks just like me.” James beams a smile at me.

I roll my eyes. “That’s because your dumbass looks like me!”

“I don’t know, I see a lot of my family resemblance.” Hunter laughs.

I smile and silently thank them for cheering me up. It’s been a long day. After a few more minutes I check the time and figure it’s been long enough to head back.

I softly open the door. When I walk in my heart feels like it could explode. The nurse is no longer in the room, it’s just Anna laying in bed holding Xander. She has a glow about her as she looks up at me. I can’t help but to stand in awe of her. With everything that’s happened she still seems to be…happy. I walk over to them.

“You look happy.”

“I am. Just look at him.” She gushes over him.

“I think I spent the whole night staring at him.” I confess.

We both go silent. Just taking in the moment. All of us together, alone, at last. Neither one of us dwelling on the future and all the could haves. I decide then and there to stop living in the past and worrying about the future, just live in the here and now.