Unforeseen Resolutions (Complete)

Chapter Twenty-two

Savannah POV

I find myself standing in my old childhood bedroom, staring out the window. Looking at nothing, just the general view of the street out front. It’s cloudy and there’s been a slight drizzle of rain on and off all day. A gloomy spring day. I’m tired. There is so much to think about and so many emotions to feel that it’s like my senses have surged and I feel nothing. I try to break everything down and process one thing at a time.

The joy of holding my baby boy is the easiest and strongest emotion. Just looking at him brings tears to my eyes, happy ones. He is almost a week old now and he is perfect. Well I could use a little more sleep but I knew to expect that. His dark hair and blue eyes and his sweet little face are all his father’s. I couldn’t be happier.

The shock and fear of finding out I almost lost everything. That I was on the brink of death. I had no problems during my pregnancy with the exception of the car accident. What caused such a terrifying thing to happen so suddenly like that? No one knows and we never will. Xander would never have known his mother.

The heartbreaking knowledge that I can never have any more children. I never really thought about having kids until I got pregnant and still didn’t think too much about how many I would want in the future. Now that that option has been taken from me it’s all that I can think about. Xander will never have brothers or sisters. Does Alex want more kids? I am too afraid to ask and I know he would say no either way just to make me feel better.

Then there is the physical part. Since my surgery I will no longer have a period which I guess is something to look forward to. My hormones are going to go crazy, hot flashes, menopause at twenty.

I am pulled from my thoughts by a pair of arms wrapping around me. I sigh and lean back into Alex as he holds me.

“Save me! Our mothers are going to drive me crazy.” He whines as he nuzzles into my neck.

I laugh because I know exactly what he’s talking about. We have been staying at my parents’ house ever since we got out of the hospital and his mom has been here every day since as well. I love that they are here to help with Xander, especially my mom at night, but sometimes they are a little too much. Always giving advice and silently judging when I do something my way.

I miss my friends. Dorian, Makena, Sadie, and Reign had to return to California shortly after I had Xander. I was able to see them a couple of times before they left, but I still wish they could have stayed longer. I know I will see them all again but with me here right now, I don’t know when I will see them again. Obviously with Reign dating Hunter I’m sure to see her sooner rather than later.

“What are you thinking about?” Alex asks me.

“Everything.”

“You can talk to me. Please talk to me.” He says it so softly it's like he is whispering to me.

“I’ve already told you everything. I just keep going over all of it in my head.”

“marry me.”

The room is silent and I’m frozen. I don’t know if I heard him right or not. After a long pause he moves so he is standing in front of me. I look up at his beautiful blue eyes and my heart starts to race because I know he is serious. I see that future flash through my mind. I reply without even thinking about it.

“No.”

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I am sitting on the couch. The TV is on but I’m not really watching it. I’m too busy watching Xander sleep in my arms. When I hear the front door open and shut I am pulled out of my trance. The first thing I notice is how dark it has gotten. I didn’t realize so much time had passed and the sun was setting. When all you do is eat, sleep, and nurse the time of day only matters in sets of roughly three hours between feedings. I look up at both of my parents as they walk into the room.

“I missed my baby boy! Let me take him for a little while so you can rest.” My mother coos at us.

I never knew my mother could be so…soft. That is until I saw her with Xander. I gently kiss his forehead before handing him over to my mom. Who instantly gushes over him and talks sweet baby talk to him. Once she walked off my dad sat down beside me. He said nothing. The silence bothered me.

“Alex proposed.” I blankly state out loud.

It felt weird to say and saying it out loud seemed to make it just that more real.

“I would say it’s about time but I’m guessing by the fact we are sitting in the dark and your mother isn’t planning another party as we speak…” He just stares at me.

“I said no.”

He just nods…like it makes complete sense. But it doesn’t!!! I love him and he loves me, we have a child, and I can’t imagine ever wanting to be with anyone else. I start to cry. My dad wraps his arms around me and I cry into his chest, just like I did as a little girl when Hunter would hurt my feelings or push me down. Once I let it all out I sit back up and wipe the tears from my face.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He asks.

“I just. It’s too soon.”

“Too soon? Sweetheart you have a child together. Some would say it’s long overdue.”

“But that’s the thing. I don’t want him to marry me just because of Xander. I don’t want us to be forced into it just because it’s the way things are supposed to be. I want…” I sigh, I don’t know what I want.

“You want him to ask because he loves you and wants to be with you everyday from this moment on.” He supplies.

“Yes.” I look down at the floor.

“From what I see that man loves you. I knew that the moment he walked through that door and faced me and your mother, knowing we could have him fired and possibly arrested for what he did. I knew it the minute the school called us to inform us he had come to them and confessed he had a relationship with you. I knew it the minute he packed up and moved to California and from the pain he was in when you went back without him. And Sweetheart I have never seen a man in more pain than in the moments he thought he lost you for good in that hospital. What I am trying to say is if you want to marry a man who loves you and wants to be at your side forever…you have been lucky enough to find him. And as your father I couldn’t be happier.”

His words made my heart soar and ache all at the same time. What have I done?

“However!” He adds. “You two have not had an easy road. As your father seeing him there for you means more to me than whether there is a ring on your finger. Don’t feel pressured to say yes just because of Xander. If you aren’t ready it’s ok. I know for a fact he will understand.”

I sigh, because I know he is right. It’s just nice to hear someone else tell me. I lean into him and he once again wraps me up in his arms.