Savannah is 20 years old. A sophomore at Berkeley University. She has a great group of family and friends. But now she must deal with the aftermath of the end of last semester. Alone.
Alex is 25 years old. No longer a teacher, living back at home. H...
"Want another tattoo?" Gary asks me as I clean up the station next to his.
"I don't think so. I'm saving my money." I tell him.
"Ok, but if you ever want a new one or me to add to what I put on your forearm you know who to call." He says as he heads off to the backroom.
I look down at my left arm and trace the tattoo Gary gave me back in July. I had just started working here and was wanting something new. He said he would do it for free if I kept it small. I run my finger across the coordinate numbers that surround compass arrows. It's all simple black lines and the longitude and latitude numbers for back home and Berkeley. It is officially my favorite one I have now.
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When my shift is over I help Gary close up and head home. After classes and work I am exhausted. I walk into the door and head straight to bed. Choosing to skip dinner in exchange for sleep.
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I recline back on the arm of the couch and continue studying. I bend my knees and lay my book on my thighs. Finals are next week and I have been doing nothing studying all week. About half an hour later my book is pulled away from my lap. I look up at him and my heart skips a beat. What is he doing? He puts the book to the side, his eyes never leaving mine. He leans down over me. I sit frozen. My mind isn't able to keep up with what is happening. He leans in more. His cheek glides across mine.
"Don't say anything. Just close your eyes and feel." he whispers in my ear.
Goosebumps run down my body but I listen and close my eyes. My breathing hitches as I feel his fingers touch me. I feel his lips on my cheek before touching my lips. He hesitates before kissing me. My heart skips a beat. His body moves to lay over me. My heart races. His hand pushes my shirt up and his touch gently slides up my left side. I fight not to move. Desire starts to pool between my legs and I squirm at the feeling. My breathing picks up. What is he doing to me and why am I just laying here letting it happen?
"I love you Anna." He moans as his hand grabs my breast.
My eyes fly open and I jolt up right. I try to catch my breath as I look around my empty bedroom. It was just a dream...or a memory actually. As I calm down I think about that day. I had been studying for a test when Alex decided to surprise me with one of our first more physical make-out sessions. We were more and more tempted to break the rules and we rarely spent time together alone back then. I have finals coming up next week which is probabile what brought on this memory.
Unable to go back to sleep I get up and head to the kitchen. I make myself a glass of water and grab some cheese and crackers. I sit down on the couch in front of my textbooks. If I'm not going to sleep I might as well study.
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Alex POV
I sit down in my chair and stare at a bottle of bourbon. An unopened bottle of bourbon. I refuse to open it. It is so tempting on quiet, lonely nights like this. Some nights I even hold the bottle in my hand but I haven't opened it...yet. I run my fingers through my hair and pulling my head back close my eyes. To put it simply I am miserable.
It has been over six months since I watched my world slip away from me. I was naive enough back then to think we could make long distance work. That our love was stronger than all the other failed attempts around the world. Now I go to and from work, eat, and sleep. I try to spend time with my family but it's different now. It's like they either ask about Anna, which is always hard because I don't have anything new to tell them. Or it's like they are walking on eggshells to not mention her because they know it will upset me. Friends are non existing these days. I didn't really have any friends outside of co-works and James before Anna came into my life. Now James' girlfriend and best friend are her family and friends. It can be torturous sometimes, constantly being reminded of my loss. At this point I know I have lost her.
Next week is Christmas. My family is going to be hard to be around. And I just found out Anna isn't coming home again.
I stand up and walk over to the bar. I grab the bottle of bourbon and glares at it. I sit it down and twist the lid off. I flip over a glass and pour a drink. I put the lid back on and sit back down with my glass. I watch the liquor swirl around as I rotate my wrist. I take a drink and feel the familiar cool burn. It tastes delicious but leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I think about my promise. My promise to Anna and myself not to drink when I'm upset. After blowing up on her after drinking because I was upset I hated myself. I have only drank socially or to celebrate. And for the past six months I have stayed strong to that promise.
I am coming to the realization she is gone and I need to accept it. I love her and she may still love me but we are in two different places, physically and in life. I would wait a lifetime for her but what is the point in waiting if she isn't coming back? I may always wonder what would have happened if I had kept her here or went back with her. I might question my choice to condone her moving in with Dorian. But after everything he did for her, I needed to know someone was around to help protect her. Still I fight the feeling he is taking my place in her life in more ways than just keeping an eye on her safety. She deserves to be happy.
