MCYT angst oneshots

Ruined Stream

Wilbur
- no real triggers, just general sadness

Today was the worst day of my entire miserable life.

I woke up at around 3pm, which is not so uncommon for me these days. My head was pounding and my stomach screamed. I couldn't decide which hurt worse. I knew why I felt this way, and I knew how to fix it, too, but I just couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. There once was a time where I tried to get better, eat healthier, go on walks, all the things they tell you to do, but those days are long gone now. It only gets worse from here.

I used what little strength was left in my body to pull myself up and swing my legs over the side of my bed. It had been a few days since I'd done anything productive, so I decided to make an appearance on twitch. I didn't want anyone to start to worry, because then they would start to ask questions I couldn't answer.

As I stood my vision went dark and I stumbled, trying desperately to keep my balance. Just as I felt sure I'd pass out, the fog cleared and I began to feel much more stable. I took slow and careful steps across my room and booted up my PC. It was so slow today. Just like me, I guess.

After a while I was greeted with my home screen. I clicked on the discord icon, hoping to see some messages from my friends. Of course, there was nothing. I don't know why I was so upset about it because no messages meant no one was suspicious of me. I thought that was a good thing, but maybe it's not really. Maybe I kinda wish they'd notice. I wish I had a little bit of support. It might make getting out of bed a bit easier. Nevermind. I shouldn't worry anyone. It isn't a big deal anyway and I'd hate to bother anyone. They all have enough on their plates already, don't need me adding to it.

I switched over to twitch, but I couldn't seem to think of anything to do. I never have any creative ideas anymore. Looking through my notifications, I saw that Tommy and Phil were doing a chill stream together. I switched back to discord to find their voice chat and joined them, not really thinking much. Maybe if I'd hesitated a bit, I might remember that I sounded like absolute shit, which would no doubt raise questions, but of course I didn't think about that.

"FUCK YOU BITCH-" Tommy's voice rang out.

"Wilbur!" Phil exclaimed, interrupting Tommy's rant.

"So nice of you to join us, Wilbur." Tommy teased.

"I wasn't even invited." I said, shaking my head.

"You know you sound like absolute shit, right?" Tommy laughed. No, I hadn't noticed. Honestly my voice had been the least of my concerns.

"Are you alright?" Phil asked. He sounded so genuine. For a moment I wanted to tell him everything, but I wouldn't do that. Especially not on stream for thousands of people to see. Probably millions once the clip inevitably circled around the internet.

"Y-yeah, just a... cold I guess."

"Are you sure?"

I gulped. Had he caught on?

"He's probably got what I had a few weeks ago. Remember that? I thought I was going to die." Tommy chimed in.

"You're so dramatic, Tommy." I teased, grateful for the change of conversation. Phil seemed uneasy but went along with it.

"Well, yes, it wouldn't be Tommy without a little drama." Phil replied.

"Yes, thank you, Phil." Tommy stuck his tongue out.

"You're such a child, Tommy." I laughed.

"I AM NOT A CHILD!"

"ARE TOO!"

"NO, I'M A BIG, GIANT MAN. AND I GET WAY MORE WOMEN THEN YOU COULD EVEN IMAGINE, WILBUR!"

"OH YEAH, I'M SURE THEY JUST LINE UP AROUND THE CORNER TO SEE YOU!"

"OF COURSE THEY DO!"

"YOU'RE DELUSIONAL, TOMMY!"

"FUCK YOU, I HATE YOU!"

He was just joking. So why did it hurt so much?

"Y-yeah, HATE YOU TOO!"

Everything stopped for a moment.

"Are you o-?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine! Just the uh... the sickness, you know. My voice is a little... um, iffy."

That was probably the worst lie I've ever told, next to the time I told my mother I hadn't broken the window whilst holding the offending bat in my hand. I got a couple of discord notifications, but I ignored them. They were no doubt from Phil or Tommy, asking what was wrong privately. I wasn't about to tell them anything, so there was no point in responding.

"Okay, um... I think everyone's pretty tired so I'm going to call it a day chat!" Tommy tried to cover, continuing on with his normal outro. I started freaking out because I knew they'd confront me after the stream, and I definitely couldn't handle that. I didn't trust my brain to supply me with a good lie right then. So I quickly left the cart and turned my PC off, leaving my phone on do not disturb so they'd have no contact with me at all. I felt absolutely awful leaving them like that, especially considering the fact that I'd effectively ruined Tommy's stream and the fans were no doubt causing a ruckus on Twitter right then.

I felt tears start to prick at my eyes, and I was much too tired to fight it. I laid my head down on the desk and let it out. I cried so much that I thought I'd run out of tears forever. Maybe I'd just die right then and there. It would surely be less embarrassing than what would come if I ever dared show my face online again. They must be so mad at me. I fucked it all up, just like I always do.

I might be a little dramatic for calling this the worst day ever, but God, I've never felt more alone in my life.