MCYT angst oneshots

Different

Tommy
- self harm
- panic attack
- sensory overload

It didn't take me long to realize that something was different about me. It felt like I was missing something that everyone else had. I try to explain it, but it always comes out wrong. Nobody understands. They don't even try.

I don't know why I'm like this. I wish I wasn't.

•••

Tommy bit his cheek as he attempted to listen to the teacher. That was hard enough on any typical day, and it certainly wasn't made any easier by the situation that continuously seeped into his mind. His class was expected to start their project very soon. Too soon. The very thought of it made Tommy's stomach churn. The project had to be completed in groups, and Tommy already knew that nobody would want him. Nobody ever wanted him.

"Alright class, I'll give you a little time to get into groups now. Remember, no more than 5 and no less than 2 per group!" The teacher announced, clapping her hands. The classroom erupted in noise as students moved around. Tommy watched as friends shouted at each other from across the room and pushed their desks together. Sure, he could get up and ask someone if he could be in their group, but there was really no point. He knew how it would end anyway.

"Tommy? Do you have a group?" The teacher asked, eyes soft. Tommy shook his head and looked away in shame.

"Class! Which groups need another member?" Tommy's face flushed bright red and his breath sped up. He closed his eyes as tight as possible in hopes that he would suddenly disappear.

Nobody answered. A few snickered. They knew that Tommy was the only one without a group. He always was.

"Alright, if nobody is going to volunteer, I guess I'll just pick for you." The teacher shook her head in annoyance and scanned the room. Her eyes landed on a group of boys across the room.

"How about you go join those kids, Tommy?" The teacher gestured over to the group. Tommy stood up shakily and nodded quickly, attempting to ignore the groans of the group members. He slid quietly into a desk slightly off to the side in hopes that they would just straight up ignore him. It didn't work.

"Tommy, right? Are you new? I've never met you before." A brunette boy asked. Tommy hesitantly shook his head.

"Oh- well- I'm Tu-"

"Tubbo. I know." They'd gone to school together for years. If it were any other person, Tubbo would surely be at least slightly familiar with Tommy by now, but Tommy was a special case. He kept to himself and made no effort to have his name known by his classmates. It was safer that way. Easier.

"Oh." Tubbo replied, clearly embarrassed. "Well... we were just getting started brainstorming sooo... I guess you can just jump in whenever."

Tommy nodded and watched as Tubbo turned to another one of the group members to continue their conversation. Tommy took this time to look over the other boys.

On Tubbo's right was Dream, a confident boy with more friends than Tommy could ever dream of having in his entire lifetime. He was pretty shallow, but that was to be expected from someone like him.

On Tubbo's left was a boy Tommy knew much less about. His name was Ranboo, and he tended to stay out of drama. He was on good terms with pretty much everyone. Tommy respected that. At least he wasn't a bully.

Tommy fiddled with his fingers in his lap. It was so loud now. Everyone seemed to be talking all at the same time. It was almost like they were yelling, screaming into his ears, and it just kept getting louder and louder. Tommy sunk his nails into his hand as his shirt seemingly tightened around his neck and the lights brightened.