Go to Hell, for Heaven's sake (5SOS Fanfic)

Chapter 1

"You're ugly" I heard that voice again in my head, "nobody likes you. You're too short for a year 10. Go back to year 7. You're ugly. You're irrelevant. You should kill yourself. Why are you still on this earth, torturing everybody around you with your ugliness and unwantedness?" I couldn't stop these thoughts entering my head and I don't know what to do when it happened. "URRRRGH. STOP" I yelled, falling down to my knees, grabbing my hair and pulling it, in order for the thoughts to disppear but they aren't and they never will. I need somebody. But everybody thinks I'm a freak, nobody likes me, that's why I have no boyfriend, or friends, or even a guy who slightly thinks I'm pretty. The only thing I have is music. My body is pulling me towards the bathroom and I can't stop it. I open the third drawer and grab out a razor, what am I doing? I thought. I remembered my phone was in my pocket, I took it out and double clicked the home button so my music came up and I pressed play without being able to see what song was playing. My eyes were squinting so hard and my right hand was coming closer to my left wrist, all of a sudden, this beautiful voice came out of my phone speakers.

"My ship went down in a sea of sound, when I woke alone I had everything"

Alex Gaskarth's voice filled my ears.

"A handful of moments, I wish I could change, and a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade"

I dropped my razor.

"in a city of fools, I was careful and cool but they tore me apart like a hurricane"

I breathed in and sighed.

"A handful of moments, I wish I could change but I was carried away, give me therapy, I'm a walking travisty, but I'm smiling at everything, therapy, you were never a friend to me, you can keep all your misery"

I took my phone and walked out of the bathroom, putting the razor back in the drawer. I lay down on my bed with Alex's voice drowning out everything around me. The song ended and Stay by Mayday Parade began.

The bell went, signalling the beginning of homeroom. I sighed.

I walked in with my books. I sat down in the seating plan the teacher gave for us and I was sitting next to a guy called Christian up the back.

He looked at me and laughed. Then all of his other friends turned to face him and I fell in all of their gazes. I was scared because Christian was the popular kid and whatever he did, everybody followed him. Like sheep. A voice broke the gaze.

"GOOD MORNING STUDENTS"

Everybody turned to face the front. The teacher called the role and the bell went for Science. Christian moved from his seat and sat next to his friend, giving me a dirty look during the process. I sat there. Alone. Thinking. About stuff. I wish that could happen, I become famous and marry Jack Barakat. But that would never happen, I began drawing 'Pierce The Veil' logo in their handwriting.

Some girl walked past me and knocked my hand over and ruined my drawing. "Freak" I thought the voice started again but it was the girls friend.

A quite popular boy approaches me.

"Hello"

This is the first time in my life somebodies been nice to me.

"Hey" I said.

He looked very embarrassed and I wasn't surprised if he didn't want to be seen with me. "Um, I'm having a party tonight and I want to invite to" I looked at him, startled. Is this a joke? I barely even know this guy.

"I'm sorry, I have something on tonight..."

"Oh, well, I'll inbox you the address and time if you change your mind" he told me.

Yeah, there's no way I'm going to your party babe.

"Ok. Thankyou" and he walked off.

The rest of the school day was long and tiring and normal. The usual "look, its Kiara, let's trip her over" or "let's punch Kiara in the stomach where nobody can see us" or "let's cut off some of her beautiful, long, black hair"

I had enough of this shit. I'm going to make myself attractive. And the only way I can get people to see the real me is if I go to the guys party. I leave the school and I step inside the shopping centre, I think about all my flaws and how I'm going to make myself look pretty. I want to show people I'm not ugly. I walk into the hairdresser.

Oh no. I now have light pink tip-dye. Something to make my hair prettier.

I go to a couple of clothes stores and bought a really nice skirt that's the same shade as my tip-dye and a black shirt that brings out my curves. I hope this outfit doesn't make me look like a slut. I decided to wear my black converse and not heels because it would be a bit awkward.

I walked up to the address Jason, the quite popular guy who invited me, had inboxed me. I felt like throwing up and I had changed my mind so many times throughout this 10 minute journey here. I took the train because I have no other way of transportation because my dad is an absolute fuckhead. I hate him. He's the reason I started to self harm. He's the reason all these voices come into my head and taunt me, telling me that I'm worthless, ugly, that nobody likes me. And its true.

I knocked on the door and Jason opened the door.

"YOU CAME!!!" he shouted at me. Why was this kid so excited to see me?

I entered the house and I was welcomed by a familiar face.