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THE THREE HAD MANAGED to find an apartment that was abandoned. Lucky for them, it had some canned food inside so after they gorged themselves on that, they went to sleep — Arisu and Usagi insisting Akuji take the bed whilst they slept together on the couch.
It was almost dawn when Akuji heard whispers from outside. Her bedroom had a small balcony attached. Once she left bed and went onto said balcony, she discovered that the cause of the noise was Arisu and Usagi.
She noticed that they were extremely close – there was no gap between them – and although they were not holding hands, they occasionally rubbed their pinkie fingers across the other's hand.
Akuji wasn't ignorant: it was very clear they liked each other. She didn't know if they had kissed or confessed or whatever in the abandoned Seven of Spades arena, but she was sure that was why the relationship between them seemed to have changed when they met up with Akuji again.
"What are you talking about?" Akuji asked.
The two turned, surprised. Usagi shook her head at the girl, "You should be resting."
"So should you." Akuji returned. She walked over to them and they separated, making a space for Akuji to lean on the railing in the middle of them. "And anyway, you woke me up. So what are you talking about?"
"We've almost died a thousand times. We could still die at any second. I don't believe it. It's a miracle we made it as far as we have." Arisu stated.
And just like that, the guilt came up. It had been eating Akuji alive and now it consumed her whole. Before she could even think of what she was doing, she blurted out, "That's not true."
The other two turned to her, intrigued expressions on their faces, "You don't agree?"
Akuji swallowed, her mouth dry and her throat beginning to close up. The guilt, it was destroying her from the inside, but maybe this was the way to get it to stop. She couldn't have friendships built on lies and facades.
"For you, maybe, it was a miracle. But not for me." Akuji shook her head. She avoided their eye contact as she continued, "I've done bad things to survive. I'm a bad person. I sacrificed my best friend, I almost killed her–"
"Akuji, you can't blame yourself for that." Arisu jumped in. "Akane's alive. You're a kid, too. Like you said before, you weren't able to think properly and went with the first thought you had; you can't blame yourself for that."
Usagi, who had no knowledge of this before now, listened with surprised yet sympathetic eyes.
Akuji shook her head firmly, "Not just that. My second game, I almost killed a woman. Her name was Shibuki. She survived but still, I manipulated her. She coughed up blood."
Arisu's eyes widened at that, almost like he recognised the name.
"My third game, I did the same. And my fourth...Tatta, his death, it was my fault. I–I said these cruel things and I didn't mean it, I was projecting everything I thought about myself onto him, but because of what I said, he's dead."
Arisu frowned as he took all of the information in. Then, it hit him: Akuji had killed Tatta. He took a step back and Usagi mirrored him, doing the same with an expression of shock on her face. Arisu's own face reflected the same surprise, along with sadness and rage. He opened his mouth, ready to snap at her, but then he closed it, pursed his lips, turned and left.
Akuji wanted to call out to him, maybe explain herself, but her voice got stuck in her throat.
Usagi glanced over at Akuji, not as angry as Arisu but just as sad. She clenched her jaw and shook her head, "He was my friend, too."
Then, she left as well.
And Akuji was alone. As much as she wanted to redeem herself and as much as she knew for certain that she would never hurt them, she also knew that this was for the best. Because Akuji was the worst.
The guilt had eased a little bit – but it wasn't worth it. Usagi and Arisu meant everything to her. Akuji would fight a lion with her bare hands if it meant they lived, she would put herself in harm's way time and time again if it meant they were happy. And now, she had ruined everything.
She didn't know what the future of their friendship would look like, but one thing she knew for sure was that she couldn't go back to sleep that night.
AUTHOR NOTES lol i love angst 😈 also the shibuya shoot out is soon and i have BIG plans for that!! if you follow my tiktok u probably already know but since niragi and akuji are meeting up......i'm not gonna say anymore in case i spoil it LMAO
ALSO ioverowe has a kuina x fem!oc fic out so please go read that!!
