I hate him // Minsung [Eng]

26

Lee Know p.o.v.

I can't get over the image of his disgusted, disappointed look.

What the fuck is wrong with you, Lee Know? What's gotten into you?

No, this time you know well what came over you. You kissed him because you've been wanting to for weeks. You kissed him because you like him, not as a friend, not as a younger brother.

You do really like him.

After Han left, I was petrified for a moment, unable to react. I was ashamed of what I had done, not even knowing if he is gay. When I finally got around, I searched for him but I could just see him disappear into a staff car.

I tried to call him on the phone, but he didn't answer.

I didn't want to leave him alone, I just wanted someone to talk to him. If he doesn't want me, at least I hope he could speak with Chan.

So I walked into the dressing room, where the others were still chatting with the adrenaline of the concert circulating. From their relaxed and carefree expressions I understand that Han didn't tell them anything about the kiss.

I go straight to chan and ask him: «Jisung?»

Chan stops laughing immediately upon seeing my expression: «He said he wasn't feeling good...»

I sigh and run a hand over my face.

«Lee Know, what did you do?»

«Call him, Chan, please call him» I insist, forgetting the honorifics.

He immediately takes his phone and starts the call, but keeps looking at me and repeats:

«What did you do?»

Han doesn't answer and It's an understatement to say I'm concerned.

«Can someone from the staff take me to the hotel?» I'm in panic. I don't want him to be alone when he's in pain.

«Lee Know!» Chan calls me again, grabbing my shoulders. I can't ignore him anymore.

«I fucking kissed him!» I scream, feeling my eyes fill with tears.

Silence falls in the dressing room. The looks of the other members are indecipherable, but at the moment I don't care about them. I just want to go to Han.

Chan immediately stops one of the drivers and tells him to accompany me. The leader walks me out and, before I can get in the car, he pins me by the wrist:

«I don't know what's going on between you two and you already know that you have to be careful for the group, but... Work things out, Minho. I just want you two to be happy.»

His gaze is that of an older brother who trusts me, despite the enormous risks. He is giving me his approval.

Not that I needed it, I've always been a stubborn and rebellious cat, but I appreciate it.

«I will. Thank you, Hyung. Apologize to others for me».

I arrive in our suite running and I rush in front of the door of his room. I try to calm my breathing and knock softly on the door. I don't want to scare him.

Of course he doesn't answer.

«Han, it's me...» I try to say, «Can I come in?»

No reply.

«I'm going in now, Han» I warn him and lower the handle. The door doesn't move, it's locked.

Fuck.

«Han, please, forgive me. I don't know what came over me... Please, let's talk about it.»

The silence of his room kills me. The tears start running all over my face and I can't stop them.