I hate him // Minsung [Eng]

12

Lee Know p.o.v.

Han took my hand cutely and now he is shyly searching the words to tell me his story. I watch his face, his cute little nose, his small mouth, his sweet eyes...

He is so amazing, why doesn't he see what I see?

I don't know when I start to admiring him like that, when I start to being so nice with him, but I'm not ashamed of it. I could be an asshole, but I know how to love my friends.

«I had a person in my life...» he starts, looking at the distant sky, and all my thoughts immediately disappear. I'm sitting here, silent, stroking his hand to give him courage.

«He was my... Hyung.» he says, his voice already shaking.

«He was my real brother, but he wasn't just this.» he smiles sadly to the horizon, his eyes lost in memories, «He was my guide, my strength, my all.» 

He crosses my gaze and I see pain in his irises. So much pain that it made me want to share it with him, just to get some off his shoulders.

«We were one, until one day...» 

The tears start running down his face. I really would like to hug him, but I don't want to stop his story and I don't know if physical contact with me it's okay for him.

«One morning, he didn't wake up.» he starts sobbing, «He has never woken up again.» he hides his wet face in his hands, losing control.

I approach him and whisper: «Can I hug you, please?» I beg. My voice seems broken.

He nods, crying harder, and he abandons himself in my arms. I squeeze him tightly, placing my lips on his soft hair. His innocent scent fills my nostrils and right now I feel like I'm holding in my arms a little Han boy, who just lost his brother.

«Doctors said it was a sudden cardiac death, it's not so rare in young guys...» he says between the sobs, «But why him?» his crying intensifies.

«I'm so sorry, Han, I'm so sorry...» I perceive my eyes getting wet too, but I try to hold back the emotions. 

«It was 5 years ago, but I can't get over it yet. I think I will never.» he hides his face in my shirt. His tears are wetting me but I don't care.

«It was him to call you Han-ah, wasn't he?» I ask, stroking his hair to calm him a little. 

He nods again.

«I was so worried...» he murmurs. Then he takes my hand and covers his face with it. 

I look shocked at this little boy who is covering his face with my hand. I am completely amazed. He is so vulnerable, so little, but... The best part is that he is vulnerable in front of me. And he probably doesn't realize how sweet he is doing that gesture.

«I'm sorry, Jisung, really.» I repeat, feeling guilt for making him worried.

He raises his face and looks at me with astonishment, his little hand wrapped around my wrist.

What have I done this time?

«How did you call me?» he asks, confused. I can't say if he is mad or happy.

«Jisung? Isn't your name?»

He blushes: «Yes, it's... It's okay.» he stammers, looking away and letting go my hand.

I watch his cute red face and his parted lips. They seems so soft...

Omg, Lee Know, what are you thinking!?