Orphans

2

To be alive requires a certain level of dissociation, otherwise to  think about all the things that haunt us, the mistakes we have made... It would kill us.

To think about the people we could have become, but could/did not...

To think about the people we have had to be and the  things we have had to do in order to survive...

To fully take in the reality of our lives. To think of all the people we have lost. The pain, the void, the guilt. To just fully take it in.

It would kill us. And so to live means to have to apply a level of dissociation on a daily basis in order to go on.

Darina Leite has been looking at her table for the past 10 minutes. Her eyes not particularly focused on anything, although to passerbys it would appear as though she is focused on her table of fruits and vegetables.

She's snapped out of her daze by a soccerball that misses her shoulder by mere inches.

"Lorenzo!" She yells.

"Sorry aunty..." the 8 year old boy sheepishly apologises. His apology followed by a chorus of others from his five friends.

"You nearly knocked my head down. Next time I'm confiscating that soccer ball! How many times have I told you to stop playing nearby the tables! And I'm not playing, try me next time!" She threatens before throwing the soccer ball back at the group of young boys.

She's hardly a smiling person, but today her mood is more sour. It's a chilly day and business has been a bit slow. People are inside their houses warm and avoiding the cold.

And yet she Darina has been outside since 5 am and it is nearly 5 pm now... but to think about it all would be too much and so she focuses on neatly arranging the apples and bananas on her table, such that it takes her a bit to realize that a customer has stopped to buy.

It's a fancy fancy car that she doesn't know the name of or even care about.

"Hello Miss, how can i help you," Darina asks the woman who has stopped infront of her small market.

"Four pastels please." The woman in the car announces in a raspy voice.

She's is surprised at hearing this. That was the last thing she expected her to order. A fancy woman like her buying pastels?

A pastel is a common street food in the Republic of Cabo Verde. It's made of dough, tuna, onions, spices amongst other ingredients.

"Yes Miss," she says before packing the four pastels in a small transparent plastic.

Just then, an old woman passes by her car, she smiles at her and Elica smiles back, thinking her face looks familiar.

"It's time..." the woman says looking at her before walking away.

"Huh?" Elica is confused. She looks at the woman, but she can't see her again. She looks at the mirrors, but it is as if she just disappeared.

"Here you go Miss, only CVE 20." The young woman tells her as she gives her the plastic of pastels.

Elica takes out a hundred CVE and gives it to her before taking the pastels from her.

"Who was that woman, that just passed by?" Elica asks the young woman.

"Which woman?" Darina  asks confused not having seen any woman.

"The old woman that passed by just now. She said something to me." Elica explains.

"Sorry Miss, i didn't see any old  woman." The young woman tells her before taking some small  container. 

Elica is left baffled. But the woman just passed by infront of her. Maybe it was all in her imagination?