Orphans

26

Trigger warning: grief

"When he died, I knew that nothing, in this life, in this world, could ever hurt me more than this." - LiamW

The day they buried her, Nadi dreamt of Ana playing on a slide. She was sliding down a bright yellow slide, smiling and calling her "babygirl... babygirl...". She woke up with a feeling of peace in her heart, but when she looked around the room finding D sleeping and Eli staring into the darkness, she weeped all over again. She desperately tried to close her eyes again, desperately tried to dream about her again, but she didn't... Didn't at all.

Before they buried her, a day after discovering what had happened, Eli had dreamt that they were in that farm where they first went for their date. Ana had to leave and go somewhere, and she got in the car, driving by herself. And from the driver's window, Eli could make out the words "My soulmate..." from her lips. Eli remained frozen in her seat watching as she drove away, her beautiful smile gracing her face.

D had dreamnt of her just before they buried her. She dreamt that she was in the garden picking up some flowers. Her figure slowly and gradually disappearing into the the garden which had become more of a flower field in the garden. And as she disappeared she could hear her yelling "I love you darling...".

D wakes up and goes to prepare breakfast, but she finds Mrs De melo already in the kitchen.

"Morning granny."

"Morning neta," the old woman smiles at her.

Granny makes small talk as they make breakfast together.

"Let's go eat breakfast," D announces in their bedroom,  opening the curtains and windows, making Nadi hiss at the sunlight.

"I'm not hungry..."

"I know, but let's go eat."

"You know your mommy won't like it if you don't eat..." And just like that, Nadi slides out of bed in tears, going downstairs.

"Eli, you know I can't handle you, just don't make this anymore difficult for me, come and eat breakfast... You know Ana doesn't like it when you skip meals..." D walks out.

None of them could bring themselves to talk about her in past tense.

One of the most unsettling parts of losing someone, especially someone who was your everything is having to change from / is / to / was /.

Eli joins them in the breakfast table. She sits down and pours some oats in her bowl. She feels the bile rising in her stomach but she pushes it down and forces herself to swallow the oats.

Her grandfather is saying something, but she can't hear him.

Out of habit, D has put 4 plates;  (Eli's, Nadi's, Ana's and hers) and 2 more for their grandparents.

Eli's eyes drift off and when she sees the empty plate, something snaps inside of her. She runs to the toilet and vomits all the bile and the two spoons of oats that she had taken. She rinses her mouth and washes her face. She gets inside the empty bathtub and curls herself up.

For the first time since Ana passed away, Eli lets out a bone chilling sob. One that has her grandmother's heart feel like it's going to stop any second. Nadi puts her head on the table, sobbing too. D excuses herself, running to cry in her bedroom.

Eli wakes up hours later to find herself covered in a blanket. She feels her heart beating violently. She is too scared to even look around. It's as if there's a presence in the bathroom with her and she's scared out of her mind. This had happened to D and Nadi, they suddenly felt extremely scared, feeling like someone else was in the room with them, such that they now slept with the lights on.