I'll Put My Red Dress on Again

Chapter 4

The next couple of weeks was full of just Neytiri and I. She didn't hunt as much as she usually does. She didn't really ever leave my side. It meant the world to me. I got slower and struggled to do the simple things. In both bodies.

In my human body I could not eat any food. I was bones. I couldn't even walk, I had to be pushed around in a wheelchair. Everyone treated me like I was a glass vase that would break at any moment. I felt the tension, everyone was just waiting until I died. It was an awful feeling. Another reason why I wanted to leave them.

Grace was still kind to me. That's how I knew it was bad. She didn't treat me like the others. She was kind and gentle to me. Even when I fucked up she never said anything about it.

—-

Neytiri and I were walking to the spirit tree. Neytiri held my hand as we ran. We were laughing and playing around the whole way there.

When we arrived Neytiri let go of my hand and walked to one of the vines. "These are where our spirits go." Neytiri says quietly. "I wish my soul could rest with Eywa." I say while walking up next to Neytiri. She connects to the vine and I follow along.

My mind is flushed with different sounding voices. Memories filled my mind. I couldn't tell what was mine and what wasn't. "You are one of us, and you always have been." Neytiri says. I unlink and look at her. I was speechless. This is all I've ever wanted.

Neytiri stepped closer to me. "You may choose a mate. We have many fine people here." If only Neytiri knew all I wanted was her. "I already have someone in mind." I say while grabbing her hand. "I've already chosen, but she must choose me." I say while looking into Neytiri's eyes.

She smiles brightly and looks deeply into my eyes. "She already has." Neytiri leans in. I lean in as well. Our lips were seconds apart, but I rested my forehead on hers. "I'm sorry, Neytiri I can't." I say while taking her hands in mine and squeezing them. "I don't have much longer. Na'vi mate for life... and you deserve to have someone who you can spend the rest of your life with." I say softly to Neytiri, holding back my own emotions.

"No, no, no." Neytiri says while placing her hand on my cheeks and making me look at her. "You are the only one for me! I have never loved someone the way I have loved you!" Neytiri says with raw emotion in her voice. "And you will love someone again... Neytiri I do love you, but it is not fair to you." I say while placing my hand on top of her's.

"Myra, I want to spend my last moments with you, loving you as you are." Neytiri says.

"M-maybe we can help you." Neytiri's eyes grow wider. "Help me how?" I ask. "With Eywa." Neytiri says. I have no idea if it would work, but what do I have to lose? "Ok, I'll do it." I say with a nervous smile. Mo'at is the Tshaik so it's all up to her, but I will try it for Neytiri.

Neytiri moves closer and I know what she wants. She waits for me to make the move, so I do. I connect the space between our lips. At first the kiss is soft and loving. Then it turns into a more passionate deep kiss. Neytiri pulls away, my face shows my confusion. She pulls her queue over her shoulder, I do the same. She holds her in front of me, I bring mine towards her. They connect and I feel overwhelmed with all that's entered my brain.

I feel everything Neytiri felt. Her sadness of me dying, her happiness that I'm with her right now, even the part of her that wants to go deeper right now. We stare at each other for a few moments , breathing each other in. Before continuing, Neytiri wraps her legs around my hips. I pull her into me, deeping the connection.