𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐨𝐧

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛

Meeks invited me to the next dead poets society meeting. It had been apparent that there was a strict rule about who could join the club, but Meeks explained it to me. "Charlie insisted." Those two words were all I needed to know.

Dalton told me, the last time I saw him, that he wanted to earn my trust back... and well, it would be rude to decline his offer to make amends. After all, I already had somewhat forgiven him-but he didn't know that.

I went alone to the cave in the dark of night. All I had was a flashlight and nerves of steel. No one would be messing with me tonight. Except, I did hear someone creeping up behind me. I paused, quickly shutting off my flashlight. I heard the rustle again and turned around.

It was probably Charlie trying to scare me. Dammit, it was working, too. Eventually, after standing in the darkness for a minute, I heard a group of boys talking and laughing loudly. I turned my flashlight back on once I saw their's in the distance. I noticed Charlie was among them. I went back to where I heard the rustle and shined a flashlight in the brush. I heard something move off. It was a bird. Damn, Charlie really did have a hold on me.

"Hey, cave's this way." One of the boys stopped and waited for me. Back then, I didn't know who he was. Now I knew that was Neil Perry. "Why are you walking out here alone?" He watched me, but not in a creepy way. It felt as if he were peering into my mind, understanding me. He had a sincere smile on his face, which ultimately confused me. I thought for sure these boys would hate me by now.

"Sorry." I replied back, and he shook his head, saying I shouldn't be sorry. "I was invited, and I didn't think you guys wanted any tag alongs."

"Hey, bring a tag along next time." Next time? Were they planning on inviting me again? Neil walked side by side with me as the others were much further ahead. "We'd rather you here with another person than end up on some missing persons poster."

I let out a laugh. "Out here in rich kid ville?" I shook my head. "I think I'll be safe." I reminded him. "But fine, it would probably be a good idea to at least go with someone."

"Did you like Mr. Keating?" Neil asked me, looking over to me with a knowing smile on his face. My face started to heat up. Great. Were there boys really gonna bring that up. "Why were you watching us?"

"Oh God.." I muttered, letting out a small nervous laugh. "Do you know a girl named Serena? She's dating one of the boys here, and my other friend likes Pitts, so they wanted to sneak over to meet up with you guys." I explained quickly.

"And, why were you watching us?" Neil repeated the question. It seems like curiosity got ahold of him.

"Meeks." I replied. "We've been friends since we were eleven." I don't think Neil expected that answer because that got him to shut up. Well, so I thought.

"Not Charlie?" He inquired after a bit of silence.

I shook my head, not giving him anymore of an answer. Neil just nodded, and soon enough, we were to the cave.

-

Weirdly enough, Charlie Dalton didn't say a word to me. Though, he did nod in my direction to acknowledge that I was there. It sort of saddened me, and suddenly, I missed his teasing ways. I sat next to Meeks, giving him an awkward smile.

The verse to read at every meeting was read, so that began the entire meeting. This was very unlike the prior meetings I had attended. These were much more about poetry than about any guy trying to get with a girl.

As the boys read their poems, I watched Dalton. I hadn't even realized I was doing that until the others were trying to get my attention. "Hmm?" I looked at them all in confusion, and I noticed Charlie watching me all the same. "Oh, sorry, I spaced out." I said, which wasn't a lie, but I hoped they thought I spaced out because of the poetry and not because of Charlie.

"Your turn." Meeks nudged me, trying to help me out so I wouldn't embarrass myself. I looked to him a bit clueless. "You're poetry? Did you bring anything?" He whispered to me like that would make any difference. All the boys were staring at me now. I could hear them stifle their laughter.

"Oh. Yeah." I took out my bag and started to rummage through it. "Sorry guys, didn't mean to disrupt the flow." I said as I tried to find the book of poems I got from the library to read here. I couldn't find it, and I was digging forever.

Someone held out a paper in front of me, and I looked up to see Charlie. "Here. I can be of use." He said quietly. I looked at the paper, and then to him.

"Thanks." I took it from him gently and began to read. It was the poem "To Hope" by John Keats. It was a more complex poem that I didn't expect Charlie to have. It was longer too, yet keeping me engaged the entire time. Most of all, it felt like despair. After I finished reading it, I handed it back to Charlie.

Seems like the other guys didn't expect him to bring out that sort of poetry either. We all looked to him, utterly confused. "What?" He laughed as he tucked the paper away.

"It's sad." I finally broke the silence. "Just didn't expect that from you." I sort of joked, also having issues with being vulnerable.

"But it's not sad?" Charlie replied in a question. "Well, some of it, but it's not all sad." I felt as if Mr. Keating would be proud of our discussions. He took out the paper again, reading a stanza.

"Whene'er I wander, at the fall of night,

Where woven boughs shut out the moon's bright ray,

Should sad Despondency my musings fright,

And frown, to drive fair Cheerfulness away,

Peep with the moon-beams through the leafy roof,

And keep that fiend Despondence far aloof."

Charlie was quite the performer, and he did not hold back when reading that stanza. A small smile crept on my face, but my position still stood. "I see where you are coming from, but the only reason this is written is because he is depressed."

"I never said it wasn't sad. I just said it wasn't all sad." Charlie corrected me, and I gave up. I guess he was right.

As the others finished up their poems, I began to think about Charlie's. He didn't choose a stupid love poem for me to read. Well, he probably thought I was going to have something prepared anyway. Still, he knew I was going to be here.

I looked back to Charlie again and caught him looking in my direction. I wanted to talk to him once this meeting was over, and it seemed like he wanted to talk to me as well.