𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐨𝐧

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗

TW! Mentions of suicide

As Charlie walked me home, he didn't say anything. He kept his hand in mine, and we stood close to one another. It felt right... but also not quite. He looked straight ahead, didn't crack any jokes, he just seemed consumed by his mind. His hand even ended up slipping from mine from how loose he held it.

"You're worried." I finally said, wanting to break the silence that he usually broke.

"Well, no shit." Charlie laughed, a sad laugh. He moved his hand up to wipe the tears in his eyes. "Sorry, that was mean."

"It's okay." I wasn't going to fight with him. I didn't even blame him for snapping at me. He was lost. Completely. "It'll be okay, Charlie."

"No, it won't. You don't know Neil's dad." He stopped in his tracks, looking to me. "He wants himself to be a doctor, not an actor. He-" Charlie looked down to his shoes, wiping the tears from his eyes again. "He's going to move him from Welton, and I'll never see him again." His voice cracked, going softer in the process. In that moment I didn't know what to say. He just needed someone to listen to him. "Maybe it's fucking selfish but... Neil's.."

"No, it's not not." I wanted to help him, make him feel better, but I knew I couldn't do that. I hadn't the power to control people in that way, and maybe that's why I hated complex emotions. I couldn't control them. I couldn't control how others perceived them. Charlie smiled at me.

"You're cracking." He chuckled, lifting my chin up with his hand. I felt a tear run down my face, and I quickly wiped away with the back of my sleeve. "You can cry."

"I'm not crying!" I blushed, pushing his hand away. "I'm not.." I was crying, but only a little bit at a time. "Ugh." I turned away from him, trying to get ahold of myself. I felt his arm entangle me, pulling me into a hug.

"It's okay." He chuckled, swaying us back and forth in the snow. How did this switch so suddenly to him comforting me? He kissed the top of my head, and I tensed up. "Oh, didn't crack you enough. That's alright. I can wait."  He pulled away from the hug.

"Dalton. I'm sorry." I paused, and he did too—his face going back to that solemn expression from earlier. "When you see Neil again, will you tell him that he was enchanting from me?"

"Enchanting?" He let out a low whistle. "What a pretty word." He took his hand in mine again, walking with me closer and closer to my house. I didn't want him to take me all the way in fear that my parents would be watching out the window.

"It is a pretty word." I replied quite confidently.

"You're enchanting." He said.

"And you're annoying." I responded, looking to him with a laugh.

"Very funny, l/n." He kissed the back of my hand. "Very funny." He knew what he was doing because he laughed at my response to his action. "You're making things weird, not me."

"Idiot." My house was only one more door down, so I stopped him. "Goodnight Dalton. Thank you for walking me home, and thank you for the-"

"Date? Yeah, you're welcome." He winked, declaring what I thought we had established as just a friend thing. He smirked at me when I was at a loss for words. "Sweet dreams. I'll tell Neil that you thought his performance was enchanting."

"Thank you." He went to turn away, but I caught his arm. I leaned up, kissing him on the cheek. "Goodnight, Charlie. Stay warm ok?"

"Ok." He replied and now it was him who was bashful. "Night."

That night wasn't eventful. My parents were proud that I made home on time. I was starting to earn their trust back. Little did they know, Charlie walked me home that night. They didn't ask about the play, or about Carla, but they did praise me for keeping to my word.

That morning, I woke up, not thinking anything bad could've happened. I felt happy, actually. I felt like Charlie and I were getting closer, and I was getting more comfortable with being in love. He gave me my time and my space. He respected it.

I went down stairs, pulling my hair out of my face. I noticed my mom sitting her chair, her face full of shock. "Honey, a Welton boy died last night."

I felt like I was suffocating. "What?" I didn't believe it. What did she mean died? That can't be right. "What? Who?"

"Did you know a boy named Neil Perry?" My heart dropped when he said his name. I felt like my whole body went numb. Please tell me this wasn't real. Please. I felt silent tears run down my face. God, poor kid. Poor kid, indeed. "Oh, honey." My mom came over to me to hug me, but I stormed out of the house.

Grabbing my bike, I wiped my eyes so I could see where I was actually going. I needed to see Meeks... Charlie. Charlie his best friend! What was he feeling? Did he know? He had to know. My mom knew!