~Zayn's POV~
So far the date was going well. The food was great, we'd managed to talk without arguing. But Perrie seemed a bit out of it. Like she had something to say. It was doing my head in so i finally came out and asked her. "What's up babe, you've been acting edgey all night." I asked. She looked up at me before replying. "Babe, there's something i need to tell you, but let's not do it here, we'll go back to my apartment." I was slightly confused, i didn't know if i'd done something wrong or what. We both stood up and left after paying the bill an then headed of to Perrie's apartment. We stopped outside and she turned to face me. "Babe" She said grabbing hold of my wrists. "We can't do this anymore. It's not working and it hasn't been for a while, way before any of the rumours. We're just kidding ourselves now and we're just gonna end up hurt in the end." I didn't know what to do, part of me was upset, i mean i love Perrie and i though she loved me. But the other part was somewhat relieved, she was right, it hasn't felt right for a while. "I'm so sorry to have to do this, but i'm not sorry that we met or that we got together in the first place, you're one of the best people i've ever met." She looked at me with a smile. "Besides, I think you love someone else, but you don't realise it yet." What. This was news to me. The only time i ever feel as happy as i do when i'm around Perrie is when i'm spending time with Liam. In fact, come to think about it i feel completely different around Liam, happier even, happier than when i'm with Perrie. I don't know how to explain it, it's just, when i'm with him it feels like nothing else matters, all of my worries, problems even my insecurities are gone and i can't help me smile. And, even though i thought i was straight, i can;t help but notice how gorgeous he is. His big brown eyes, that cute little pout he pulls without realising. Oh my god. Perrie's right, i do love someone else.
Without realising it i was grinning like an idiot. Perrie laughed a little. "See i told you, be safe Zayn ok, you'll always be my friend." She replied kissing my forehead as we went in for a hug. "So will you Perrie, and thank you, thank you so so much!" I exclaimed as we broke the embrace. "What for?" She asked confused. "For making me realise." I replied before hugging her a final time and walking in the direction of our apartment. as Perrie waved me goodbye. There were so many things going round in my head 'What does this make me' 'Am i gay or bi'. I decided to sit down on a nearby bench to try and think it all through. I sat back and brought a cigarette to my lips taking a deep inhale. I don't even know why i was smoking, i knew it would probably just make me think irrationally but i needed to calm myself down a bit. I just sat there in silence, replaying what Perrie had said to me over and over again in my head. But at the same time, all i could think about was Liam. That's it, one way or another i'm going to tell him tonight, i need to tell him how i feel. I rushed back to the apartment. I ruffled the inside of my pocket before pulling out my keys. When i got in it was practically dark and empty, there was just a lone light on in the kitchen. "Hey Zayn" I heard Harry call before he walked into the living room with a glass of water. "Hey Harry, where is everyone?" I asked. They're all in bed, it is gone midnight you know?" I must have lost track of time when i was thinking everything through. "Has Liam been alright do you know?" I asked, trying not to alert Harry too much. "To be honest mate i don't know, he went straight to bed after you left and hasn't come down since, Louis says he's just missing his family."
My heart sank, it suddenly hit me. This is reality, Liam's not into guys like that, and even if he was he wouldn't be interested in me. I can't risk our friendship by telling him. I felt my whole body go limp as I sat down and pulled my laptop open. "Are you coming to bed?" Harry asked. "Nahhh not yet man, see you in the morning" I replied, i didn't feel like going to bed, not now anyways, i felt more like just sitting around and feeling sorry for myself for a little while. "Ok dude, see you in the morning" harry replied before heading back upstairs. I went to youtube on my laptop and put some music on, the first song i picked turned out to be 'When I was your man' by Bruno Mars. It made me realise, maybe i've realised how much i love Liam too late. All of a sudden i felt weak. Like i had no energy left. I was in love with Liam Payne and there was nothing i could do about it.
