ideas i hope someone uses

sherlock angst

!!TRIGGER WARNINGS: self hařm, sų!cidał themes !!

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SHERLOCK'S POV

it had been 3 years since i came back, john still hasnt forgiven me.

it's pointless.

nothing is fun anymore, not without my blogger.

he hasnt spoken to me since the hospital, unless you count yelling at me, furiously.

"WAKE UP!" i flinched, falling down while he kicked my stomach.

"JUST WAKE UP!" he kicked me once again, while i was on the ground, in pain.

all i thought of was what mary had said, on the VHS.

"he will be there when you need him." is what i heard from the TV. not only that, but that she hated me. wonder when my life will be original.

"sherlock? are you okay over there? you havent touched your tea." ms hudson padded my shoulder, making me flinch by the touch.

i nodded my head, giving her the sign to leave when she knew not to.

once i looked down at the tea, suddenly i felt a wave of dizziness. then i couldnt feel my legs, all i could feel were my hands shaking.

i shakily moved my hand to my head, 'cause i started to have a headache.

this has happened before, so nothing to worry.

but this time, it was different. it didnt stop, it just felt worse, and my legs? not moving at all. so it was just me, sherlock holmes,

and a cup of tea.

"a cup of stupid, BLOODY TEA!" i slammed my head on the table, creating a more worse headache than before, and a bleeding nose.

while i sat there, with a bleeding nose not able to mostly anything.

i just sat there, turning my head to the small, cabinet door right of me.

that, was what held the same exact-

"ACK--" i hollered in pain, not expecting the huge amount of pressure i was about to get from my head.

it was aching, very, very, badly.

i couldnt even deduce what this pain was coming from, usually it wouldnt be as bad, but now i just cant even-

i could feel my legs a tiny bit, but not enough to walk fully.

i tried anyway, to get up, to get to the cabinet, that holds what i need.

i fell.

extremely far. it even felt like i was doing that thing again!

wait, what was it called?

the, the- the uh, the--

the fall?

"the fall? what's that!" i completely screamed it, it even seemed like i was distressed. what a funny thought.

then i noticed, my eyes widening.

the fall...? a thousand thoughs- no a billion thoughts rushed to mind. didnt help my aching head.

then i fell.

just like the fall, but it felt more deepened.

like i was in an eternal fall.

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JOHN'S POV

"SHERLOCK!" i barged into the doorway, nothing was stopping me this time. nothing.

i picked up the intoxated man who was on the floor.

there he was, the love of my life. on the god damned floor, with a bloody nose. god damn it, sherlock. have you been taking again?

"the ONE time i come to try to talk to you, you just BLOODY TAKE AGAIN!" i kicked the cabinet door hard out of frustration, tearing up. then, i hear light items rattling in the cabinet, what the..?

i cautiously walk to the cabinet door, putting my hand out to reach it.

when i open it, i didnt really expect to see a basket that was filled with pictures , of me and sherlock. i didnt even believe he had these, especially in the kitchen.

"ngh, mnn..." sherlock blinked, looking up, "joh.. john..?" his eyes were soaked in dried up tears that looked to have been there for hours, "oh.. john!" sherlock leaped up in front to me, looking at me.

i just stared, standing in silence.

he looked at me more, at my dull eyes.

then he looked scared, scared to look at me, afraid of something, but what? i thought the fastest way possible.

then he took steps back, then more, then another, then ever more steps.

"sherlock, what are you doing?" i held my hand out, expressing my sympathy , but he just stood there, frozen in place.

"no no, wait, no, i'm sorry, john." he backed up more, "please don't leave again. please, dont leave.

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