The Demon In Him (NARRY)

5.

((A/N: reminder that Christina is now Gemma. Enjoy))
*re-wrote the ending of this chapter*

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"I didn't...I didn't think you were serious," I choked out. She looked around to make sure we weren't being watched and helped me up onto the couch. She scooted over closer to me, our bodies near in contact.

"I was hell right serious. Damn, I even told you not to come here crying and look at you now, baby," she smiles small, hoping to cheer me up with her small attempt for a joke on me. I couldn't find a laugh or even a small smile to give in return, mostly because that didn't help at all. It only made me feel more like an idiot.

She raises her hand up to my chin, lifting to meet her eyes which were themselves frowning. The sight must've been a sorrowful one telling by the way Selena's face dropped right as she took in more of not only my outside look, but the feeling on the inside that wouldn't stop eating me up.

God, it hurt so fucking much...

I knew I felt worse than I looked however, and so did she, which only made the situation worse.

Should I move?

Should I permanently leave?

Should I stay and face him?

You can't Niall.

Why can't I face him?

You saw only a portion of his body and look at you. Just imagine being face to face with him, looking into those eyes of betrayal.

But what if I'm stronger than I seem to be? What if I can face him...

Niall...you're not the Niall you used to be. You're the Niall you were before that, the one when he left.

Fuck, you're right. I need to get out of here.

***

I've been at Selena's place for about three hours, in bed resting until now. It was around early evening when I heard the familiar ring tone of my phone. I wasn't in the mood to take up a call, so I declined and laid back down, not bothering to check who it was. Anyone but me, and perhaps Selena and him, was the least of my worries.

My undivided attention to myself was almost unbearably painful considering the pillows were quite damp at this point. Phone calls were just going to make it worse anyway. Practically doing anything, does. God what if it was him, though? Does he still have my number? Would he even have the gut to call me back? Hell, what if all this was a mistake? Before I could let all my thoughts flow through, there was a knock at the door.

"Hey, Ni," Selena sighed and walked in, closing the door before she walked over to sit near my legs. "How're you feeling?" she asked unsurely. I could sense the uncertainty in her voice. Obviously, the question was so general in my case, I knew she knew that, too. Her face said it all.

I simply couldn't answer it accurately so I just shrugged, knowing she wouldn't buy it. I was right.

"Do you want to stay here for a while? You know until he...um...leaves?" She gulps slightly. I knew it was hard for her because she knew just how sensitive I was about the topic and even just his name. She wasn't even used to talking about it at all and she was scared to get a reaction out of me. However, I didn't want to make her feel like it's any of her fault, because it wasn't. So I just nodded, again, no words. If I said anything I would probably delve into a state of unstoppable tears and I didn't feel like doing that again. I was so worn out.