The Church Girl and Di Drumma Bwoy

11.His Question

Akayla's POV
Tuesday 8:35am

I was woken up by blasting sounds to what sounded like gospel music.

A when mummy reach back fi a blast music suh,afta anuh sunday mawning.

I groaned while using the pillows to cover my ears while thinking what those 3 fools are up to.I got out from under the covers and walked to the door to close it since it was wide open.

I normally sleep with my door closed,so I knew without questioning that they were trying to wake me up.

mission accomplished.

I went to the bathroom,did my morning routine and headed downstairs. I noticed that the music had stopped while I was in the shower so I figured that they were now doing Bible study.

When I was now downstairs,just as I predicted,they were in the couch having a heated conversation about...something.

I couldn't quite pick up on what they were talking about since they were all talking at once.

"Look who finally decided to wake up,"my brother said causing Akeem and Amani to look in my direction.

"Good morning to you too,"I said sarcastically as I sat beside Amani.

A did di only seat wah did available,shut up.

"Mawnin,"he said in a low whisper while I hummed in response.

Yuh cyaa ave likkle mannaz,my subconscious mind scolded.

"Suh basically we a talk bout how to deal with mental health issues as a Christian,"my brother explained while I nodded in response.

The conversation was interesting and interactive.

I said a few things while Mani also said a few things and Akeem and Michael put their few words in too.

One ting wid we,wen a Bible time we nuh ramp.

"Yeah cause when I was going through a rough time last year,mi naa guh lie prayer neva seem fi help until mi start get fi know more about God on my own and then over time our relationship got stronger and stronger,"I said giving my input on what Akeem said.

Not a lot of people know this but,I use to struggle a lot with my mental health last year. I would constantly hurt myself when I thought I did something wrong or foolish.
I also started thinking that the world would be a better place without me so time after time I would try to take my life.

After each attempt I would learn something different,until the last time I learned how much I wasn't just hurting myself but I was also hurting my parents and the people that really loved me,I was being selfish.

I also thought that drugs would help to ease the pain and solve my problems,so I tried it once,and then another and another until over time I became an addict. It was hard for me to stop because I wanted that feeling that I got the first time. Thankfully,with the help of God,my parents,therapy and rehab,I was able to stop completely.

I was out of school for a while but I got back in just in time to finish up my sba's,study for my exams and now I'm just waiting on my cxc results since most of my time in rehab took place in the summer straight up to the second week of October.

Not everyone knew about this except for like really close family and really close friends. I understand that situations like these a lot of prayer is needed but it's also MY mental health and I wasn't comfortable with everyone knowing.

I'm now 100% clean and doing better than ever. There are some days that I remember how I use to constantly abuse myself and waves of depression would come over me especially during cxc time,but there is nothing that prayer can't fix.