The Face Off

031

Camille

Sometimes people say time heals. I gave up on skating. Luckily enough my parents said the school didn't take the money I won a while back. Lucky. Lucky funny lucky to be alive lucky but I'm barely alive arent I?

Some nights it's too loud others is a bit less. When it's less its when I'm underwater. It seems to quiet down when I'm suffocating.

Then I come back and it's loud again.

I hate it.

All this time.

He lingers he may be serving his time but Meila got away with it all because of Daddy's money she may be sent to study abroad but she is free. Free to act like nothing happened like the faded scars on my thighs, my scar by my throat, the terror I feel at night when id ask to stop, never happened to her. She gets a do-over and me? Im stuck

Im embarrassed
Im stuck

And I miss my friends
I miss the ice but I can't face being in a place that's tainted now.

I miss Callum.
God Callum.

He hasn't budged since I answered his letters the first time Jamie gave me his letter and his hoodie I dropped to the ground and sobbed like a baby.

I sobbed.

His letter god it means everything.

I lost my phone while I was missing
Haven't found the need for it since.

But moments when I miss his voice I wish I had gotten a new phone.

I haven't because I'm a coward.

I had started therapy a month after the incident.

Somedays I feel like I'm okay other it's a bitch.

Today is a bitch I ended up crying at the of the session.

My therapist is located in NYC ironically so I took the train. I decided to go to the bakery I would visit before I switched online to NYU.

I wasn't paying attention and I bumped into someone spilling my boba.

I sighed "Crap I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention."

"It's okay" He looked up and I took a step back.

Callum

God it's Callum

so time heals no time keeps going even if you're standing.

"Hey star" he breathed out.

I ran. 

Fuck that. 

Wait why did I run again?

"Camille wait I swear to god just please let's stop for a moment Jesus fuck how can you run three miles like it's nothing calm down."

three miles?

wait

calm down.

"Yes calm down"

"Shit, I didn't realize I said that out loud."

"Valid."

"So um hi."

"Hi Camille."

I nodded.

"have u seen-"

"Yes"

"oh"

"How have you-"

oh fuck it my therapist can yell how I broke Progressive for all I give a shit.

This time it its my turn to make the next move so I tip-toe and i kiss him. 

Nobody is watching us this is just for us. 

He moves his hand holding my waist like he's sure I might disappear any second well he's not wrong. It's shaky but breathless but it's us and damn anyone who let us get in the way of that.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:
my bad guys also 11k What

also, I completely got my first big girl job and was unable to find the proper time to write so sorry for disappearing.

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