The Bad Boy Tutors The Suicidal Girl | ✓ Rewriting

Chapter 19

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Edge of the World | Sophie Meiers
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"It's silent, much more quiet than a thought
The violence somehow makes me feel so calm"
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Recently I have been having a great day yesterday and right now at this moment. I woke up without yelling, hitting, or any sort of conflicted emotions. Instead, I was awake to just laying in a bed comfortably with no sound at all. Except for the some lawn being mowed. Otherwise, nothing. It was so quiet.

The birds were chirping. No creaking or any sort of bad thing going on. The house felt nice and clean. Is this what it feels like to wake up in a house? It feels so refreshing. Although it feels weird.

I sat there wondering, is this real?

I felt my heart pound and realized, this is real. Although I wish it could stay forever, but it's not possible. All I know it's going to go away soon. I have to go home and it's going to be the same back home again.

It can't be real. Every time you're always happy, all of a sudden something happens. It's not just once, it is all the time. It feels like it will not disappear. Every time something good happens, the bar gets worse.

I remember last year, I was so happy I had the money to buy some shoes. I found it on the floor and I asked everyone around me if it was there. It wasn't. So I went to go get some shoes at the 3 for $25 and bought three pairs of different shoes. I went home and my mom yelled at me for buying shoes. She made me return it and she kept the money for herself.

There is no way you can just be happy without any sort of reason. Something good must happen and if not, there is nothing to feel. When something good happens, something bad happens very quickly.

I feel upset that I am even happy right now. There are so many things that come from being happy and I shouldn't be happy. This isn't my place. This isn't what I should be doing. This isn't life. If it was it would've been different but I shouldn't be happy.

For the fact I know, I am going to be sad after this is going to sick. It made me sick to my stomach. I'm going to be sad after this for sure. I shouldn't be happy or it's going to hurt more.

"Sally?"I heard and paused.

Who was that? I turned my head to the door to see Mr.Creed. When did he come in? Did he ever knock on the door?

"You okay? I kept knocking and calling out your name."He said leaning against the door.

"It's so quiet,"I told him and he chuckled folding his arms together to his chest.

"Tell me about it. It gets worse after they wake up."He said smiling at me.

"Why don't you get out of bed and get yourself dressed? I'm going to make some breakfast. It's better to have it now before the ruckus begins."He said with a grin and I nodded.

"That's great. Thank you."

He just hummed with a nod then closed the door leaving. I got out of bed and touch my feet to the ground. I pause hearing nothing. It was so beautiful. I went to the bathroom and then looked at myself. I looked fine, with no bruises, scratches, or cuts. Nothing this morning.

I put my hair in a ponytail then started to brush my hair then wash my face. I wipe my face with a towel and walked out of the bathroom to the closet. I grabbed a hoodie and then put it on. It was starting to get cold.

I grabbed my phone by the nightstand and walk out of the room. They had given me all the necessities in the guest room. They even left a couple of clothes which I was thankful for since I didn't have much in my backpack.

I walk the stairs quietly then got down to hear a tea brewing. Walking into the kitchen, I saw Mr.Creed who was putting some tea in a cup. It smelt amazing. You could smell honey everywhere. He turned to me and smiled.

"Let's go outside."He said and I raised an eyebrow. "Come on it will be fun."

He picked up a tray with everything and walked to the patio doors. I opened the door and he walked out putting in some slippers. I follow and close the door then walked down to see a couch with a cover over its head. He put the tray on the glass table in the middle and sat on the couch.

"Sit Sally."He said gesturing to the side of the couch.

I followed and looked around to see it was still early morning. The sun wasn't too high up yet and was low. The birds were definitely chirping loudly.

"Is something on your mind Sally?"Mr.Creed asked and I shook my head.

He hands me the tea and stared at me dead in the eye. "Sally it's okay to talk to one of us Alright. We are here to help you."

"It's just quiet,"I told him and he hummed.

"I like it really. It's so peaceful."I said looking at the tea.

"Well yes. Usually, you hear Tyler screaming about something and Mathew yelling at Tyler or playing video games and my wife blasting whatever she could think of."He giggled.

"But that's just how it is. It's usually louder on the weekends since everyone is off. Weekdays are the quietest days."He said drinking his tea.

I sat there wishing that was the case for me but it was the opposite. Nothing like that could be like that. That wasn't for me. That's not my life. Instead, my life is a hell hole I can't get up to clean it up. After all, it's built on sticks and not with stones because if it was then it would've held in place long enough.

"Mr.Creed, do you usually come here by yourself and do this every morning,"I asked and he hummed.

"It's John."

"And I sure do."He said eating some crackers. "And I love it."

"My buddies and I used to just sit at the park playing games and stuff. It was almost like a picnic but now people are busy and so have I. Now I do it myself on my own."He told me.

"Why don't I join?"I asked him and he turned to me and then ruffled my hair.

"Sure kiddo."He said and laughed for a minute.

"You don't mind me telling you how Erik and Mathew played family house as a kid."He said and I raised an eyebrow.

"When Mathew and Erik were kids they wanted to play family. Erik was the mother and Mathew was the father. The fights the two had were so bad, Mathew and Erik would punch each other when one did something wrong."He explained.

"Erik suggested playing the game and going by the rules but Mathew hated it. He always did something wrong compared to Erik. Tyler was in this too. He was the mistress. Oh boy, it was bad. They were playing it for three weeks until Erik punched Mathew so hard they stopped talking."He said laughing.

That sure sounded like a fun childhood. "His grandma also got into it too, she was Mathew's sister. It never made sense either."

He continued to talk about stories. It sounded fun and exciting. They must've had an amazing childhood and turned out the way they are. I wish I had that type of childhood. It would've been fun.

I kept drinking the tea since it tasted so well and then realized my stomach felt full. It felt bloated and big. I stopped and put the cup on the tray. It felt really bad and I could feel the whole thing coming up from my throat but I held it in.

"Have some more cookies."Mr.Creed said and I shook my head. "No thank you, I'm full."

"Alright suit yourself."He said happily and bit into a cookie.

Now for some reason, I feel guilty and upset. There is a really bad feeling going on that I just don't know why or where it's coming from. I know for sure this might not last forever. It can't and it never will.

I hate this feeling.

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New chapter: 05/11/23