The Bad Boy Tutors The Suicidal Girl | ✓ Rewriting

Chapter 45

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scars | ondi vil mishaal
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"I'll be the stitches to your scars babe
Just hold me, just hold me"
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Mr.Creed was on the phone as I was still on the bathroom countertop. Mathew just rubbed my back softly looking at his dad. It seems he's worried. He looks terrible after Tyler had hurt him. I frowned as he held onto my left hand since he was on my left side.

"We should've told them."I heard Mathew say.

"Cupcake?"I hummed as he turned to look at me.

"You did good."

"What?"I asked him confused.

"You did well coming here."He said pushing my hair back from my face.

He looked at me with a smile as he caressed my hair "You did good."

He looked worried, terrified. He seemed like he saw a ghost. Pale and terrible. I felt bad, guilty. I should've never come here. He shouldn't have to deal with this. No one should. No one at all.

Not even me.

This wasn't supposed to happen. I was dumb enough to make myself feel that way. I turned out this way because I let it happen but they also did this to me because they are not my people. They weren't my family, that's not what families do. I remember from the Four Agreements, the book explained, 'Everyone has wounds on their skin, so the infection is seen as normal, the pain is also considered normal; we believe we are supposed to be that way.'

Which in the end, he said it wasn't right. We shouldn't see ourselves or others that way at all. I fear that left everything drowning. That "the mind is so frightened and the wounds so painful, that it seems better to break contact with the outside world." Our mind makes us think we are a disease.

I was making myself feel like a disease because of others. I don't want to suffer because of others or myself. I need to stop with the lies and forget about the lies that are not true. I will not want to forget it but I have to let go. I need to stop taking things too personally.

Look what it has done to me. To the people. The people that like me. People actually like me and I was blind. I stared at Mathew for a moment before I nodded. I was enough.

I did well.

I heard the voices coming from outside the bathroom to see Mrs.Creed coming in with some soup. Mathew helped me down the countertop and took me to his bed. He sat me down and his mother followed handing me the soup.

"Just eat a little bit before you go."She said with a sad smile.

I look at the soup and gulp. Food is not my enemy, I have to be with food. As an author from Anni Saffi Biasetti, 'Food was something that was my medicine. It was what my body needed in order to function correctly.'

Mr. Creed's book recommendations have taught me a lot. It has helped me a little bit to understand what it means to just live. It has made me feel different and have a different perspective. Maybe that's why I was able to come here on my own.

"Come on, just a little bit."Mrs.Creed said and I picked up to spoon to taste it.

"They will come in around two minutes."Mr.Creed said and stared at me.

I'm not sure what he is thinking right now. "Honey, go check on Tyler and make sure he doesn't leave the house."

"Alright."She said then mumbled. "I hope he doesn't do anything stupid."

She walks off as I finish the small bowl of soup. Mr.Creed softly takes it from my hand and puts it on the nightstand. He turned to me and then turned to Mathew.