12am || Hyunlix

Quiet

"Not to you?" Jeongin slightly raised his voice

"Yeah, I think both Hyunjin and Felix are decent people" I said.

If this wasn't a give away, I didn't know what was. Part of me felt like it was the right thing to say, while the other part of me wanted to punch myself in the face for it. This could most definitely ruin everything. I knew he wasn't stupid enough to play along at this point.

Jeongin laughed, and rolled his eyes at what I just said. I figured he might have seen it as some kind of joke.

"I mean it" I said, looking away from him as I couldn't stand the expression on his face.

He went quiet.

Everything went quiet. The sound of the car driving in the distance disappeared from my awareness. It was almost as if the time had frozen. Each and every second elongated into an eternity.

Finally, he broke the silence.

"Fuck" he whispered, "I knew it"

I slowly lifted my head so that I could look at him again.

... he knew?

"I knew I shouldn't have let you in" He said, aggressively putting his hands on his head. -"I shouldn't have let you stay"

He kept going.

"I'm so fucking stupid" He blurted. -"I knew it, I knew you were like them. And I shouldn't h-"

He fell down to his knees, still holding on to his head. He was completely breaking down in front of me.

I had no clue how to approach the situation. Sympathy, confusion, and my own heartache mingled within me, making it impossible to figure out what to do. My instinct was to reach out and try my best to comfort him, or try to explain, but I hesitated. I felt awful.

"Jeongin" my voice cracked, as my eyes started filling up with tears.

I knew he hated me by now, and wanted me to leave, but I wanted an answer. I wanted something.

He looked up at me, his eyes filled with pain.

"You don't understand," he choked out between sobs. -"You can't understand."

He was starting to cry, and I felt shocked at the sight. I had no clue what was going on. What did I not understand?

"I'm" I stuttered. -"I really like you. I do."

Those words were all that could leave my mouth, and I felt awful about it. This had all gone incredibly wrong. I didn't know what I was thinking in the first place. He hated people like me, and no miracle could magically change that.

I wiped one tear away from my cheek before deciding to let go. I slowly started walking away from him along their pathway. My hands, and breath shaking as I tried my hardest to calm my sobbing. This was for the best. I didn't want to be a burden to him anymore. I had already done enough.

The sound of the car became louder, and the front lights lit up part of the road as it came closer to me.

"Wait" I heard from behind me.

I turned around to face Jeongin again. Our eyes connected.

He shook his head, a tear streaming down his face. "You don't get it."

"I do" I mumbled, "and im sorry" My voice cracked -"I'm so sorry"

Jeongin hated me, and I understood him. I had ruined everything. I tried keeping it all a secret from him, hoping to see some sort of improvement. He must have felt so uncomfortable knowing what I did, and felt behind his back.

The car slowed down, and stopped in front of me. It was mom. I could barely see the outline of her head in the car window.

I opened the door almost immediately, and was met with my mom's warm smile a second before it vanished away as she noticed my face.
I hopped into the car without saying a word.

Jeongin had stood up from where he was sitting, and was looking right at me. He seemed to be crying still. I took one last look at him before closing the car door.

"Seungmin honey, what's happening?" My Mom asked concerned.

"Just drive" I said.

I kept the eye contact with Jeongin. Just as the car gained momentum I noticed he put his finger up, and pointed it towards his chest before wording something with his lips.

'No' He worded, while shaking his head. -'I'm sorry'

Before I could fully comprehend the moment, and what he had just tried to tell me, the front door behind him swung open.

His parents were standing there right behind him. The anger on their faces intensified by the second as they noticed Jeongin, and our car driving away from their house. Jeongin looked terrified. I could see that he was panicking, immediately turning to them, and taking a step backwards. My eyes darted between him and his parents. I knew this wasn't ending well.

I tried my best to get another glimpse at the situation happening until a large bush covered both Jeongin, and his parents as my mom kept driving away.

As the car continued down the road, I kept thinking to myself. Jeongin's gesture, his silent message of 'No, I'm sorry' replayed in my mind over and over again. What did he mean? Were my eyes bluffing with me? Maybe I saw wrong..

I turned my head, trying my best to get just one more look at his front porch, but it was to no avail. They were long gone from my sight. I could only imagine what was happening out there. And it was all because of me.

"Seungmin" My mom broke the silence. -"Do you want to tell me what happened?" She asked, with a concerned look on her face.

I shook my head.

I could have asked my mom to stop the car, or put it in reverse, but I didn't.

I stayed quiet.