Just Keep Driving - Jeremiah Fisher

020

There was a soft knock on my door. Which was surprising because it was almost three o'clock in the morning.

"Come in" I said, voice scratchy from all the tears.

When the door cracked open in came Jeremiah still in his tux, he was holding a cup of water and what looked to be some pills.

"Hey, c'mon sit up. I brought you some water and aspirin" Jeremiah said, handing me both.

"I'm not hungover you know" I said trying to crack a joke, but winced when even my own voice was too loud for my head. After sitting up I only then realized the amount of pressure that was between my eyes, and how dehydrated I actually felt.

"I would have to disagree. You're emotionally hungover, you have an emotional hangover" he said cheekily as he sat down on my bed. I took a sip and popped the pills, and then chugged the rest of the water.

"Did my mom let you in" I asked, setting the glass down on my side table.

"No, she said the door would be unlocked though. She's over mine with my mom and Laurel. My mom is informing them that she's changed her mind, and she going through with the treatment" Jere said

"That's really great news" I said, reaching over to hug him tight. Relief filled my chest at his words, now ... now there's hope. "Did you talk her into it?"

"Nah, golden child Conrad did. Of course" Jeremiah joked as he hugged me back equally as tight.

"At least ... At least we have hope now. She shut me down in the beginning of the summer when I begged her" I said pulling away looking at him fully now. He had faint tear streaks down his cheeks, and his eyes were a bit swollen. The beautifully broken boy in front of me still took my breath away.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that" He said taking my hands

"I'm sorry you have to go through this" I said back squeezing his hands "I'll be here every step of the way"

"I know you will be" He now touched our two foreheads together, and we sat in the intimate position for a couple minutes before he pulled away. "Well since we are both still in our formal attire, and I didn't get to steal a dance from you tonight ... Shall we?" He asked, standing up holding out his hand for me.

And we danced.

I don't know how long we did, but the world faded away and we danced in-tune to our heart beats. Which were both thunderously loud being so close to one another.

At some point he pulled away and looked me right in my eyes. There was something beautiful brewing in his soft brown eyes that I had to ask.

"Are you okay?"

"Rachel I ... I'm so sorry for pulling away this summer when things were different. I should have dug deeper, found out what was going on, and been there for you. Instead I was a coward and at the first sight of hardship and indifference I pulled away."

"Jeremiah you had no way of knowing"

"I did know your feelings though, and I also did know you were hurting"

"Well I didn't help I forced them onto you, and pushed you away whenever you asked"

"You didn't force anything onto my Rachel" he said in a stern tone "You also pushed me away with good reason. I should have tried so much harder for you, for us" He said now more sincerely, and the use of us made my heart flutter.

"So much harder" He said, dropping his head in defeat, but when he picked his head back up something different was brewing in his eyes. Something surer. "Rachel I should have tried so much harder because I know now, I've always known and ran away from the feeling. I can't tell you how stupid I feel because of it. These feelings and hardships are nothing to be afraid of because they end at you. You Rachel mean everything to me. I - I love you and only you Rachel Thompson"

My world stopped for a second and a ghost of a smile rested on my lips. The heartache in my heart eased for the first time in awhile. I felt pure unwithering happiness fill my heart, my body, my soul.

"Jeremiah I love you too" I said easily and unwavering.

He pulled me in for a kiss that told me everything twice, three, four times again how he felt. That he was in love with me and I him.

We then decided it was time for bed since it was nearing almost 4:30 in the morning. He helped me undo the back of my dress and it fell to the ground. Which laid me bare to him besides my lavender panties. He then took off his shirt and dress pants to make me feel more comfortable. We then made our way back to bed where he held me in his arms, and I was lulled to sleep by his heartbeat.

That night we were blanketed in the warmth of our love, that not even the hardships that lay at our feet were able to penetrate. Soon we would face them, but tonight we lay basking in our confession skin to skin.