Despite it all

Chapter six

Sunday is that day of the week you either hate or love, there's is no in-between. I'm one of those who hate Sunday's. There's nothing to do and my parents usually expand their fights which ends up with dad leaving us for a few days without any food since he is the only one having a job and the only one with money.

It was around 9am. I woke up for about two hours ago and couldn't go back to sleep so since then I have been laying in my beed and just been looking up the ceiling.

I sometime caught myself thinking of Adrian. Even though I'm not supposed to. All the nice things he did just wouldn't leave my mind and I really wanted to know why he did it.

More hours passes by as I just lay in my bed. I haven't eaten breakfast yet, I'm not even sure we have something to eat.

I could hear something breaking from the living room. Now it's starting. I couldn't lock my door, because I don't have one. Remember two months ago when dad broke it down? Yeah, we haven't replaced it so I'm just covering it up with a blanket.

I covered my face with my pillow and tried to shut down my ears in some way, but it wasn't enough. I could still hear how he was screaming, telling my mom how stupid she was, that she was a whore and that he regret meeting her. I started to tear up when he said those words.

I sometimes wonder why I ended up here, in this family. I wonder why they decided to have a baby when they behave like this. I will never understand some people.

About twenty minutes of fighting, the door slammed. He left. The only thing I could hear right now was my mom crying. I wanted to go out there and hug her, but my body just didn't let me. I couldn't move.  I was scared that if I went out there, and he would come back, maybe he'll hit me too. And my body hasn't healed enough since the last time.
"I'm so sorry mom" was my only thought.

   NEXT DAY

Walking into school always makes me feel some type of freedom and relief, but in another way, it makes me feel empty, lost, disconnected and lonely.

I don't have much friends, actually, I don't have a single one. If I'm being honest, it has always been like this. I think it's because I'm quiet and doesn't talk much and the reason for that is just that if I talk, I might open up about my family. I don't want anyone to know what is going on so I'm keeping it for myself, it's better that way.

I walked straight to my locker because I was late, first time since forever. I took my books and walked fast towards my classroom. While I'm concentrating looking down at my shoes to not get eye contact with people, I bump in to someone. And of course that someone is Adrian. What are the odds.
   "Eaaasyyy girl" he said and laughed.
I took my books off the ground and didn't answer him. I need to focus on something else, which means EVERYTHING but him.
    "Heyheyhey, stay"
He grabbed me by my arm and I immediately shook him off.
     "Don't touch me!" I screamed.
When I said that I was trying to stay out of getting eye contact with everyone, I really tried. But now, everyone got eye contact on me instead, without trying, which is worse.

He looked at me with a worried face, I tried so hard not to cry but I could feel how I started to tear up. Oh god. I can't deal with this right now. I turned around and walked away as fast as I could without saying sorry. He don't deserve a sorry either way.

I walked towards the bathroom to fix my makeup so my bruises, but also me crying wouldn't be that obvious. When I was done, I took my books and began to walk to my class, for the second time. Hoping not to bump in to someone else, which I didn't. I made it easily to class this time, apologized and sat down at my seat without looking around.

Before I knew it, someone throw a note at me. I opened it up and read it.

"I'm sorry if I upset you"

I looked at it confused before looking around. Diagonally behind me, I see Adrian. What the hell was he doing in AP English? I gave him a dirty look before turning my face toward the board.

Don't tell me I have to actually see this guy more than I already do. The thing is, I do not complain about looking at him, cause god damn he is hot. I'm just annoyed with the fact that he pretends like everything is fine. I took my pencil and wrote something on the piece of paper before knuckle it together and throwing it back. Carefully without my teacher noticing.

I watched how he opened it, read it, looked up and straight away look me in my eyes. He took his pencil, wrote something, knuckled it and threw it back. This time, not so carefully.

- Adrian, something you would like to say to miss Hart out loud?

The teacher said. I smiled a bit but when I looked back at him, I stopped. It looked like he was embarrassed. He was just looking down at his notes, shaking his head without saying a word. My teacher continued her lesson and for the rest off the class, he was just staring out the window, not trying to look at me.

I remembered the note after some minutes. I bent down and took it from the floor, carefully trying to open it without ripping it apart.

"I'm sorry if I upset you"

"Which one of the times?"

"Every time that already has happened and the ones that will happen"

I stared at the note, confused. He basically just apologized but also said that it will happen again. I looked over at him and rolled my eyes, he just smiled.