The Blessing of Mistake | Gentle Girls #2

19

-

Naka-upo na ako ngayon sa kama habang tulala pa at iniisip ang nangyari kagabi. Pagkagising ko wala na si Ethan sa tabi ko at may suot na na kulay puti na malaking tshirt at boxer short. I bit my lowerlip as I tried to feel below me. The pain is still fresh and everytime I moved, my body would tremble. I thought he was tired last night but I did not expect he has this strong stamina that he did not want to stop until I lost my consciousness that is why I don't want to move as much as possible.

Bakit ko ginawa iyon? This is a big mistake! Ang sabi ko ayaw kong umamin pero sa ginawa ko kagabi ang hindi dapat gawin! This is a very big mistake! The fact that it was a mistake, I still have some thoughts of complimenting him.

Wala sya ngayon dito, did he left because he did not like it? It's clear that it was me again who wanted it and I want to strangle myself because why do I crave for him! I am not even drunk and I think I am the one who took advantage of him last night.

Is this insecurities? Ginagawa ko ba ngayon ang hindi ko ginagawa dahil ayaw kong pag-iwanan? This is not the reason, do I love him much more than he loves me? Masasaktan na ba ako ulit? Hindi ito tama eh. Kahit saang angulo tignan, mali ito.

Ethan loves me enough to do it with me. He told me he loves me but I don't have the courage to the same dahil palaging nasa isip ko ay ayaw ko pero ito na ngayon at ginawa ko parin. Sa kanya palagi.

Napatingin ako sa pintuan ng biglang bumukas ito. Ethan entered with a tray on his hand. Naka sweatpants na gray at itim na tshirt. I unconsciously fixed my hair when I realized he look so good wearing it. Black is not bad afterall.

Pinatong ni Ethan ang tray sa mesa na nasa gilid. Maraming pagkain ang nandoon at may basong malamig na tubig at gatas. I pursed my lips as I could not watch him.

"It's almost nine in the morning so please eat." sabi nya at naupo sa tabi ko.

I tried to move to properly eat on the table but my limbs are so weak na kahit ang paghawak ko sa kubyertos ay nabibitawan. I felt shy as I tried to glance on him.

Narinig ko syang bumuntong hininga at kinuha na ang kubyertos. "Allow me to feed you."

Wala na akong lakas na tumanggi dahil kung tatanggi pa ako, hindi ako makakain.

My throat is somehow dry so I pointed the water before eating. He gently feed me as I tried to chew it slowly. Tahimik lang kaming dalawa habang sinusubuan nya ako. Nakatingin nalang ako sa nakabukas na bintana para tignan ang mga ulap.

"I texted Karl that you won't be able to go to school today. No replies until now." basag nya sa katahimikan.

Napatingin ako sa kanya at nakitang nakatitig na rin pala sa akin. I swallowed my food before answering him.

"My contract is done so I don't have a work now." napahinto ako sa pagsasalita ng namaos ang boses ko. I closed my eyes in annoyance. For pretty's sake, don't make it obvious that I was loud last night!

"So you will be staying in your apartment while you're not working?" tanong nya habang binigay sa akin ang tubig.

Tango lang ang sagot ko sa kanya habang iniinom ang tubig. How come he can act so natural habang ako ay natataranta!

Hindi na ulit ako nagsalita hanggang sa natapos ako ng pagkain. Akala ko ay pagkatapos nyang ligpitin ang pinagkainan ay aalis na sya pero nanatili syang naka-upo sa kama at tahimik rin. Tumikhim ako medyo hindi komportable sa katahimikan.

"About last night–"

"I'm sorry about last night, Ethan. I didn't know why I did it. I wasn't on my right mind and you are drunk, it's very wrong of me. I'm sorry for the mistake." I cut his words.