My Bodyguard

Chapter 14

The next few days I didn't go out of my room, I would shower change and just lay down on my bed. I had been looking at all the pictures I took in Paris.

I feel like Paris was the best time I have ever had in my life, except when I was little. I think it was the second last day in Paris when I saw a picture in Manik's phone, it was from when we were little

I had completely been stupid because I didn't put two and two together, when we were little Manik used to live in the palace with his parents. His parents were friends of my dad's, and manik used to play with us.

now I know why I don't feel ashamed and disgusted when he kisses me, it's because I have known him since I was a kid and also becasue I used to have a crush on manik when we were little

And see I had him, I had manik but I ruined our chances together. Its weird because its not the sex that I miss, I mean I do but like I'm not craving it.

I am craving is his presence, the way his arms wrapped around me or the way his lips always lingered on my forehead longer than usual. The way I would wake up in his arms and see his face close to mine, or the way he laughs when I am rambling about something stupid

I miss manik and as much as I wanted to be stubborn and just force him to forgive me I know I can't because if I were in his place I would have killed him well not quiet but close enough.

This room was starting to haunt me, I remembered that time when he left me a note apologizing mkaing me smile

I curled up in my blanket trying to sleep again but I couldn't, I hadn't slept in 5 days, I had eaten but not much, I jsut didn't have an appetite

"Will he never forgive me, I mean I know it was a huge mistake but was it big enough to lose what we had" I whispered to the note that he had written me

I had read it a billion times maybe even trillion

I couldn't help but tear up, gosh, every night since that gala I have been crying to sleep and its gotten to the point where I can't fucking breath at times.

I could feel it again, I could feel my nerves spiking up and my airways closing again. I got up running to the bathroom, dropping a vase by accident.

I turned the shower on to cold and sat in the bathtub under it to calm down

"Your highness" I heard but didn't care I had to calm down

"Shit, princess are you okay"

"Manik" I whispered without even opening my eyes

I knew it was him

I nodded but didn't open my eyes, not until the shower was shut off

I opened my eyes and saw manik kneeling in front of the tub. He was wearing sweats and a t shirt.

"What are you doing" he asked

I jsut shook my head

"Okay come on" he said picking me up making me stand up

He went into my closet and grabbed my clothes which he put on the counter

"Get changed" he said

I nodded holding onto the counter as he walked out

I changed and limped outside, I swear I felt like a dead fucking body, it hurt, everything was hurting

i felt manik's gaze on me when I limped to the bed.

"What happened" he asked

"Huh nothing"

"Why are you limping"

"Not sure, umm thanks for checking in thought, im sorry I dropped the vase by accident" I said wrapping myself in my blanket, it was freezing

"What do you mean by not sure"

"I don't know"

he walked to the door and my heart stopped a little knowing I don't know when I will see him again or when he will talk to me again

But I was wrong, he locked the door and walked to the bed sitting down in front of me

"Whats wrong" he asked again

"I don't know, I just don't know"

"You haven't been out of this room in 5 days, you havent eaten, no calls for coke, nothing"

he noticed these things

"I miss you manik" I whispered looking in his eyes

"I miss you so much manik, please jsut tell me what to do, anything. I will do anything to make it up to you please" I felt tears forming in my eyes again

"It's okay, just breath" he said

"Please forgive me, I am so sorry. I promise it will never happen again, I swear. I even cross my heart manik"

he sighed inching closer to me, he held my hand and I melted into him. I leaned forward and laid my head on his chest.

"Jeez you are freezing cold" he said pulling back

Before I could say anything he ran out of my room but he was back in a minute with something in his hands. He locked the door again and walked to me

"Open your mouth" he said and I did

He fed me some chicken rice and then medicine. i got up and limped to the bathroom to brush, once I came back, I saw the dishes gone but there was water beside my bed

"Come out here" he said

I made my way to the bed and he sat beside him taking me in his arms.  Feeling his warmth I broke down crying in his chest, I couldn't help it.

"Shhh shh breath"

"Ma-manik I, I am sorry please" I cried in his chest

"Shhh stop crying princess" the softness in his voice was back, the same one in Paris

i pulled back from his chest and sat in front of him.

"Forgive me please"

"I forgive you Nandini" he said smiling as he wiped my cheeks

"Don't say it just becasue, please tell how I can make an effort to earn your forgiveness"

"You don't need to, your notes were enough" he said

I had actually written him notes every single day and at night I had one of the security guards slip it under his door every single night.