Darkest Desire - English

18

Liz spent the rest of the Christmas vacations in the hospital wing, but her strength did not return. No matter what Madame Pomfrey tried.

Every night Liz told herself that she had done the right thing. That it had been worth it. But she still couldn't find any sleep. Then, when the nurse was asleep, Liz would sneak out. Barefoot and in her nightgown, she haunted the empty corridors of Hogwarts like a restless ghost.

Often enough, her icy feet led her down to the basement. Through the corridors of monotonous stone, just barely lit by torches and scattered overhead chandeliers. And then she would stand there. For hours. But no one entered or left the Slytherin rooms. On her last night, she even put her ear against the wall, hoping to hear some small sign of life from Mattheo Riddle.

She hadn't seen him since Christmas. The crushed package still sat on her nightstand, waiting to be opened. Liz just never found the courage to do it.

*

"Do you have everything?" Madame Pomfrey shook up the bed to make sure Liz didn't forget anything. Soon the first students would return from vacation and everyone agreed that Liz needed to keep to herself what had happened. The petrified students would be brought back soon and that alone would cause enough chaos.

Liz had shown Dumbledore where the entrance to the chamber was, but since none of them spoke parsel, it was impossible to open it.
"Perhaps it is for the best," the old man muttered, running a hand through his long beard. "I'll see to it that this door never opens again." And with that, the principal had dismissed them.

Was that it?

Liz now stood in the deserted Ravenclaw common room, trying to grasp what had happened. Shuffling, she dragged her feet forward. Back to her room. The room she had left knowing she would never return.
It looked. Like it always did.
Somehow Liz had expected something different. The only change was probably the closed window. Veri was in good hands, she had been assured, but the bird hadn't visited her either. She was probably still offended that Liz was just going to give her away.

Oh yes, the letter! Liz had to make it disappear before Luna got back. She dropped her bag and rushed to the bed where she had magically pinned the parchment.

But there was nothing there.

Desperate, Liz dug through the blankets and pillows. Had the spell dissipated when her powers vanished? Pillows flew across the room as Liz frantically searched a second time for her suicide note. She fell to her knees and banged her head fiercely as she tried to crawl under the bed. Nothing.

Had one of the house elves found it? And if so, what would a house elf do with it? So Liz wrote a letter and taped it to the wall under the window, at eye level with the house-elves who were tidying up the castle at night. She wrote that she was missing a letter she had put on her bed at Christmas, and that she just wanted to make sure the letter was destroyed before her friends got back, because everything had turned out differently.
But the next morning it only said "No letter found" underneath.

Had the letter perhaps been destroyed simply because her magic had disappeared? Or had Veri opposed her and eaten the letter? Augurey were capable of so much, after all.

And when the day of return came, Liz was still trying to wrap her mind around all these possibilities.

*

"Liz!" Luna burst through the door of their bedroom like a whirlwind. Immediately, the two friends fell into each other's arms. "You won't believe what I heard!"

Liz chuckled dryly. What story would come now? Maybe something about Christmas gnomes? "Did you have any exciting adventures with your dad?" She led Luna to her bed and they both immediately flopped down on it.

"What, no! I mean just on the train!" Luna was even still wearing her jacket, she had been in such a hurry to get to Liz. Only her shoes had been placed in front of the bed before she had climbed onto it. "They say it was Mattheo Riddle who found the chamber."

Liz couldn't hide her shock. "Is that what he said?"

"There's more!" Luna skipped over her question. "I heard that he had had enough fun and now the chamber was locked again."

Liz felt anger and horror and an uncomfortable numbness coursing through her body. He couldn't be serious! It wasn't as if Liz wanted to boast about what she had done, in fact it would be better for her if no one ever knew of her involvement, but for Mattheo to take credit for it now?!

"Seems like Mattheo is the new favorite of the Slytherins now." Luna sighed. "At least your cousin seems to be his new best friend now."

Liz had to go over the words again in her head. Somehow, it didn't make sense. So far, Mattheo and Draco had ignored each other most of the time. "What makes you think that? Draco wishes he could, but," but Luna interrupted her.

"Because the two of them were on the train together earlier. That was the first time I've seen Riddle in such a large group. It seems we were wrong about him though. He is, after all, the son of you know who."

A hundred questions were spinning in her head. Had Mattheo gone away after Christmas after all? And where to? To the orphanage? She couldn't imagine that. And why was he suddenly friends with Draco?
She would have loved to storm out immediately and confront the two boys. But without her magic, Liz didn't feel strong and brave at all. If Mattheo was now completely devoted to his heritage, then she had absolutely nothing to oppose him without her magic. No wonder he had simply twisted the story to his advantage - there was no one left to contradict him.

"Hey, you didn't even open all the presents. Don't you want to know what's inside?" said Luna, but Liz was chewing her lip convulsively. She had wanted to make up for her mistake. Had she only done more damage by doing so? So in her thoughts, Liz didn't catch how Luna opened the crumpled, crinkly tissue paper and pulled out the once elegant box.
"Oh," she groaned with longing. "Is that fairy hair?"

Now she had Liz's attention after all.

She had opened the gift Mattheo had flung at her in the hospital wing. If Liz was honest, she hadn't expected to find a gift inside, really. She had thought it was just an excuse by Mattheo so he wouldn't have to tell the teachers that he had known where the Chamber of Secrets was.

But Luna pulled out a fantastically beautiful ribbon. Cornflower blue, but it seemed to radiate a silvery glow, as if gently reflecting the moonlight -even though it was still daylight.

Liz took the gift and slid it between her fingers. It felt smooth and cool, yet had enough grip to not slip out of her hair like the last thing she had lost when they first met.

Had Mattheo Riddle really wanted to give her a Christmas present?

And had she ruined everything by standing up to his father?