It felt good to walk outside, not that I felt trapped by any means, but it felt fresh to be able to step out and not feel as if I'm under supervision. We crossed the street and I saw a little cafe Tom walked towards.
"I've been here once or twice, they have fantastic breakfasts. Come on in." He opened the door for me and let me through. I thanked by nodding my head and sat next to the window. Tom followed with menus in hand and handed me one which I quickly started browsing through.
"Any recommendations?" I looked up from the menu.
"Actually, yes. Number four is great. The perfect balance between sweet and savoury, if you're into that. Are you a coffee person by the way?"
"Depends to be honest, I shouldn't drink too much caffeine, because sometimes it makes me paranoid, but I'm a sucker for good cappuccino. Is there maybe a decaf option?"
"Yeah, I think so. So, number four and a cappuccino?" I quickly glanced at the fourth option and realised that indeed, I would love a pancake with bacon and maple syrup, and scrambled eggs with sausage.
"Yes, please. Do you have my phone by any chance?"
"It should be somewhere here...there. I charged it last night." Tom patted the pockets of his jacket and took out my worn out phone.
"Thank you so much." I took the phone case off and took my bank card from underneath. "Please, pay with my card." I handed Tom my bank card that could possibly have £40 at best, but I couldn't have him pay for the hospital and breakfast; it didn't feel right.
"Valerie..." He tilted his head and sighed.
"No, Tom. I insist." Tom hesitantly took my card and nodded, defeated. He walked towards the bar to make an order and I connected to the bar's WiFi. I immediately saw an Instagram message from Tamara.
"Oh my god, Valerie, I have just seen. Are you alright? Do you need anything? Please, let me know, I'm worried sick. Tam x'
"Seen"? Where exactly?? Frankly, I felt offended. She was one of the main reasons, if not the main reason of me being in this situation in the first place. And now she wants to act all friendly and concerned? Fuck no. I clicked "Block" in the app and started to delete everything that reminded me of her. Number, gone. Pictures, gone. I felt tears coming into my eyes, but tried to ignore them. The way she ignored me. All those months. The way she just threw the whole relationship away as if it meant nothing. It's high time I deleted her from my life and moved on. I could have ended up god knows where, if it weren't for Tom.
"What's wrong?" I looked up from my phone and saw Tom putting the trays with food down. He sat next to me. "What do you need?"
"I'm alright, I think. I just need to..." I put my phone in the same pocket of his jacket that he took it out of a few minutes ago. "There, that should help."
"Alright then." He adjusted his jacket as if that settled the phone in, and all the memories stored on it. "Do you want to talk about it?" He moved opposite of the table and took the plates from the trays.
"Not much to talk about really..." I took a sip of my coffee and my god, was it delicious. "I just checked my phone, social media and Tamara is pretending to care now." Tom raised his brows.
"Did you write anything?" I shook my head.
"No, just blocked her everywhere. I don't think I should keep her anywhere near me. Anyways, how are you?"
"Me? I'm all good, a bit worried about the press and the fucking Daily Mail especially, but everything is under control, don't worry." I immediately froze but tried to act as if I wasn't terrified. Years of practicing using food as distraction. Cut the hash brown and put a bite in my mouth.
YOU ARE READING
Lonely
Fanfiction!TW! Suicide attempt, mental health issues, depression, anxiety and panic attacks, bipolar disorder, ED, body dysmorphia. Please, do not read if those subjects are triggering for you. Valerie has had enough of her life. Little does she know her good...
