Lonely

You're Me / Chapter III

"Smells nice." I said quietly and awkwardly looked around. I had no idea where to stand, or maybe sit. Tom turned around with two plates.

"I hope it tastes nice too, I may have burnt it a bit. Sorry." He looked down at the plates and then back at me. "Feeling better?" He put the plates on the table and pulled out the chair for me. Obviously.

I sat down and smiled politely. "Yes, thank you so much. And I'm sure the food is great." Tom sat next to me, which felt quite comfortable. I saw he wanted to say something, but couldn't figure out what would be fitting in this context. Well, a suicide attempt is not exactly a dinner table topic. Tom cleared his throat.

"So...um...is it edible?" I nodded my head.

"Yes, of course. It's really good, I really like it." Tom smiled at me and continued eating, occasionally taking a sip of orange juice. I cleared my throat too and for a minute or so we were eating in silence. I finished first, but wanted to wait until he was finished too and I took his plate.

"No, wait, what are you doing, you're my guest." He protested and stood up with me, wanting to take the plates from me.

"Please, let me." I looked straight into his eyes, showing I would not back down. "It's the least I can do." I walked to the kitchen and after finding a sponge I started washing our plates. "So...Tom. Can I call you Tom?" I looked over at him and saw he was leaning on the countertop.

"Yes, sure. Can I call you Valerie?" I had a mini-stroke, but then I realised he knew my name from the e-mail. Not gonna lie, my name sounded pretty damn good coming from him.

"Of course. Nice to meet you." I chuckled and turned the tap off. I turned around to him. "Um...I'd offer to make you some tea, but I have no idea where is what and what kind do you like, so..."

"It's okay, I wanted to make some anyway, don't worry about it. How do you like your tea?" He brushed past me and put the kettle on.

"Any is fine, but I'd love some green tea. No sugar. Thank you. I'll get the mugs." I looked around the kitchen.

"Cupboard on the left." He smiled softly and searched for tea in the drawers. I took out two dark red mugs that looked a bit worn out, but that was why they caught my eye. I wonder how much history was there and how much they went through. I put the mugs next to Tom. "I'll bring them over, really, make yourself comfortable." I nodded and went back out to the living room and decided to take a sit on the couch, next to Bobby. When in doubt, always head to the pet. I started sweet talking to Bobby and cuddling him, which he undeniably loved. Tom brought the tea over and sat on the other side of the dog.

"I see the master of the house is already comfortable, aren't you?" He put his hand on Bobby's head and looked at me. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to. But I'm here if you want to. If you need to." God, he really made it hard not to open up. But I was always told to be reserved. That no one cared. That everyone has their own problems and I shouldn't bother anyone with my made up issues. I stared into the cup and took a sip. What would I even tell him? How to even begin? What am I even debating, why would he care? I put the mug on the coffee table and placed my elbow on the couch. I could feel my eyes filling up with tears again, so I covered my face with my hand. I couldn't allow myself to fall apart again in front of Tom. I felt so pathetic. I took a deep breath, but still, a few tears fell down my cheeks. "It's okay." I heard a reassuring whisper and that was just too much. I started sobbing. He gently ordered Bobby to get off the couch and moved closer to me. "Valerie...shhh...can I give you a hug?" I looked up at him, with tears streaming down my face and nodded.

"Yes...I...please."

"Come here. It's okay. You're okay. Just breathe. I got you." He wrapped his arms around me and I just cried as if I've never cried before. "Shhh...It's okay. Do you want me to call someone?" I shook my head, and Tom only held me tighter. "Alright, we can just sit like this, I'm here." He was hugging me with one arm and with another one he was holding my hand.