Tom and I were walking in the park. He had his arm around my waist and we were laughing. We sat on the nearby bench and he turned to me, taking my hand in his hand.
"You have no idea how much you mean to me." he whispered, looking straight into my eyes. I felt I was blushing, so I tried to look away, but he gently lifted my chin up. "May I?"
"Yes." I whispered and leaned in.
"What the actual-" I opened my eyes and blinked a few times just to be sure I'm awake. I couldn't really process what I've just dreamt about. It felt...not wrong, surprisingly. I smiled to myself and sat up. When I saw him, I could just feel blood leaving my face. Tom was sitting on my bed.
"Good morning, sorry, I didn't want to scare you, I-" he immediately stood up with his hands raised.
"It's okay, it's okay. It's good to see you, I mean good morning, I mean, I-" I took a deep breath, trying to collect myself. "Can you give me a moment, please, I'll be right back." I got into the bathroom and turned on the faucet. I switched it to the side of the coldest possible setting and tried rinsing my face a few times, then a few times more. It would be better if I drowned right then and there to be honest. Well, eventually I've had to get out of there.
"Are you okay?" Tom asked, worried.
"Yes, I'm good, just...had a weird dream and was not expecting you here." I walked to the window and opened it slightly. Fresh air, that's what I needed.
"A bad dream?"
"Not sure." I responded quickly, trying to hide the blush on my face.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Absolutely not. Thank you though." The only person I would ever, if ever, talk about that with, was my newly met therapist. "Thank you so much for bringing my things over, I really, really appreciate it. I hope my flat was not too shocking."
"No, why would it be shocking? I actually found it quite cozy."
"What a polite way to call it small." I chuckled and closed the window.
"Oh come on, if anything I'm actually impressed you manage to live in that...room." he laughed and I opened my mouth, pretending to be offended.
"Said a millionaire." I scoffed.
"You'll be one too, you'll see." He said, leaning on the wall.
"By doing what exactly?"
"I've had a listen last night." I inhaled sharply.
"Oh." I let out a shallow breath not able to form any other word. So he listened to my music. Okay.
"Your lyrics are truly moving and the emotion in your voice is something very special. You deserve the world, Valerie." I could feel my eyes fill up with tears, I tried to quickly wipe them away.
"Thank you, Tom." I looked up at him. "Sorry for getting all emotional, but it really means a lot."
"No, no, don't be sorry, it's completely natural." he smiled. "So, the therapy session yesterday. How was it?"
"Oh...exhausting. But I feel like I needed it."
"Honestly, I recommend it to everyone. You can learn so many things and understand so much about yourself, about the way you cope with things, why you react to certain things the way you do. It's fascinating." from the way Tom was speaking, I felt like he has had his fair share of therapy. I wonder whatever for. He seemed like such a strong person.
"It was draining, I might or might have not had a small breakdown after." I confessed jokingly. "Cannot confirm, nor deny. But Will helped." I saw a glimpse of an emotion on Tom's face, that I couldn't quite place.
"Has he? That's very thoughtful of him."
"Yeah...it was. I'm not used to that." I said, making my bed and fluffing the pillows.
"Wasn't Tamara like this?" I had to chuckle at his question, it was an absurd suggestion.
"Oh, nooo. Far from it. Now that I think about it, she was rather...selfish. So no, she would definitely not read me 'Good Omens' until I fell asleep." Tom raised his brows and sat next to me on the bed.
"And Will...has?"
"Yes, just last night." I smiled, remembering the safe feeling. Tom nodded understandingly.
"Nice...nice." There was silence between us. For some reason, this time it felt uncomfortable. Was it something I said? "Anyway...I came over to ask if you needed anything else apart from the things I brought. Anything."
"It's more than enough, Tom." I said putting my hand on top of his. "Really. Don't worry about me."
"You do know it is not possible?" he smiled with warmth and that same warmth flooded my heart. I looked at him not saying anything, as I was pretty sure it had been a rhetorical question. Tom patted my hand and stood up. "I have to go now, but I will see you soon, alright?"
"Alright." I nodded and stood up to walk him to the door. He hugged me tightly and left. I looked as he walked down the corridor and I closed the door.
NARRATION'S SHIFT TO TOM'S PERSPECTIVE
While I was slowly making my way downstairs, I bumped into someone. I looked up from my phone and saw a woman, seemingly lost as she was looking around confused.
"I'm so sorry, miss." I extended my hand in apology, smiling politely.
"It's my fault, sorry, silly me." She scoffed with a slight blush to her face. She shook my hand. "Tamara, it's a pleasure." I immediately froze and took my hand back.
"Oh." I clenched my jaw.
She looked at me with her brows furrowed.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you...I..." She looked like a deer in headlights. I tilted my head.
"What are you doing here?" I asked coldly.
"Visiting a friend, I believe you know her, Valerie." I narrowed my eyes. She wouldn't dare.
"You should leave." I took a step closer.
"I can make my own decisions, thank you very much." She scoffed, visibly irritated.
"I don't think it's up for discussion." I looked into her eyes and raised my brows. "Off you go. Or do you want to cause a scene?" She rolled her eyes.
"Whatever. She's not worth it." She scoffed and turned around. I grabbed her hand and turned her around to face me again.
"Watch it." I raised my finger at her. "She's worth everything. She's worth so much more than you will ever be. So much more. She deserves to be taken care of, from getting the help she needs here, down to reading her to sleep if she only wishes. What she doesn't need is you. Ever. Leave. I better not see you here or near her ever again." I said slowly, making sure she understands every word.
"Oh yeah? Or what?" She asked as if challenging me.
"It's better for you if you never find out." I let go of her hand but still keep my eyes fixed on hers. Tamara scoffed once more and rushed down the stairs. I saw her leave the building and I approached the counter.
"Please, add the information to the file of Valerie Carter, that the woman that just left, Tamara, is not to be allowed in." I said calmly to the nurse. "Now that I think of it: please, do give me a call whenever there's a visitor for Valerie, if that's not too much trouble. I'd greatly appreciate it." Nurse nodded and entered the information in the system. "Thank you. Have a good day." I smiled politely and left.
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How do we like Tom's perspective? Has he gone too far? What do you think? Let me know in the comments <3
YOU ARE READING
Lonely
Fanfiction!TW! Suicide attempt, mental health issues, depression, anxiety and panic attacks, bipolar disorder, ED, body dysmorphia. Please, do not read if those subjects are triggering for you. Valerie has had enough of her life. Little does she know her good...
