Catherine stood up and put the kettle on in the small kitchenette. "Can you tell me about your makeup? What do you like the most, which category of products?"
"Eyeshadow, definitely. I really like colorful looks, I like when a pallete is made in a creative way, has an interesting and cohesive colour story."
"Mhm...do you take sugar in your tea?"
"No, thank you." Catherine handed me a mug of hot earl grey and sat down.
"You don't need to look at me this way, we are finished for today, I just need to know you are alright before I let you out." She smiled gently, I slowly took a sip.
"I'm okay, really. It was quite tiring to be honest, so I'll probably go for lunch and then to bed."
"Yes, therapy sessions can be quite tiring. Would you like to meet me tomorrow for another session?" Catherine swirled the spoon in her cup.
"I guess I should. That's what I'm here for, right?"
"Only if you want to, you can't be forced into therapy."
"True. I will see you tomorrow then." I drunk the last bit of tea and placed the mug on the small table.
I closed the door behind me and when I turned I bumped into Will.
"Oh, hi."
"Hey you, how was the date?" Will wiggled his eyebrows. I looked at him, puzzled.
"What date...OH! No, no, he's my uncle, ew, gross dude." Did I mention I'd suck as an actress?
"Ah, yeah, suuuure." He winked. "So what were you doing at Catherine's?"
"Playing mini golf." I rolled my eyes. "What do you think?"
"Oh, not a good mood I see. You want me to be gone?" Will pointed behind him.
"No, no. I'm sorry, Will. It just was so exhausting."
"Do you want to eat something? There's some chicken with rice downstairs."
"Yeah, sure. But after I eat, I'm going back to bed, it's been too much."
"What has?"
"Today. Just...the whole thing." Will wrapped his arm around me and we walked downstairs to the canteen. I wasn't super hungry, so I only took a small portion of rice, even smaller portion of chicken and just a tiny bit of broccoli with carrots.
We sat down and Will started explaining how the rice is so nice, because they have recently bought a new rice cooker, but I was busy thinking about how I'm messing up Tom's life and wondering if I'm already the most hated person on the internet. I lost my appetite and started separating broccolis from carrots, from rice, from chicken. I actually felt relief that I didn't feel hungry anymore. The breakfast I've had with Tom was a big one and I didn't want to feel even more guilty by eating lunch. I put the fork down.
"Hey, you. You good?" Will looked at me with an encouraging smile. He knew. Of course he knew, that's why he was here in the first place.
"Yeah...I just lost appetite. I think I'm just gonna go lie down."
"You've barely eaten, Val. What's going on?" The encouraging smile was gone and now the only thing I saw on his face was worry.
"Can we just go, please?" I felt tears in my eyes and to calm myself down I started rubbing my thighs with my hands but then it reminded me of my thighs so I let out a quiet 'tsk' and tilted my head. I was panicking.
"Let's go, Valerie. Let's go now." Will took my hand and again, wrapped his arm around me and walked me upstairs in total silence. I remembered how to talk when we were in front of my door.
YOU ARE READING
Lonely
Fanfiction!TW! Suicide attempt, mental health issues, depression, anxiety and panic attacks, bipolar disorder, ED, body dysmorphia. Please, do not read if those subjects are triggering for you. Valerie has had enough of her life. Little does she know her good...
