Broken Pieces

11. My life without you.

A pair of eyes gleamed as it opens up. It seems so dark that it sucked all the light there is in the room. Lian woke up that day, his gaze stays on the ceiling for what feels like forever. His mind playing a memory from a few months ago when he helplessly, or he dare said boldly broke his engagement with the love of his life. The one and only Kuea.

Lian propped up, sat on his bed. His eyes seem empty for a little while before he sighs. This has become a new routine in his 'brand new life'.

Have you ever experience losing your life's purpose? Perhaps it was what Lian wanted to ask to every person who asked him 'What's wrong?' Or 'What happened to you?'. But that's just wasn't Lian. As someone who used to carry burdens, he won't want to burden others with his problem. Yes, it's his fucking problem. He lost Kuea.

He slaps his cheeks with both his hands, stood up and leaving his bed. He got jobs to do. Being cooped up with depression in his bed won't do.

Around 7 a.m that morning, his aide, Foei had been waiting downstairs with his car. Ready to drive Lian to their office.

"Boss! Good morning!" Foei said, with his nearly foolish smile seems so energetic whilst Lian only gave a nod as respond.

After they both got into the car, Foei gave Lian a stack of paper before starting the engine.

Bangkok's traffic hasn't been any better, even if its still early. Lian read through each document, focus on each paper as if it's his life. And before he realized, they arrived at the office.

Lian gaze stays at the building before he went in eventually. It's yet another day of hard work. No time to waste.

That's basically how Lian spend his days. Slowly all the employees got used to their boss being such a workaholic. It somehow makes them being one too. Funny if you think about it. Experiencing heartbreak could bring about a positive change. Or perhaps that's what it seems like from outside perspective.

Success after success of each projects makes their company prosper. Resulting in accumulation of wealths for Lian's family. With it, his employees also reap a raise in their salary. Everyone's happy. Or was that really the case?

***

Kuea was in his room, tidying his cloths in his closet. He chose those he likes to wear before folding it and put them into his suitcase. On the desk at the side of his bed was a passport and within it holds a plane ticket.

Kuea has decided to hold off his study to pursue a music career. His father was a bit angry at his decision, but he was helpless, so was his wife. Who raise their son to be so stubborn if not themselves?

It took Kuea a bit more than an hour before he closed off his suitcase. He put them aside before he threw his body onto the bed. He grabbed a pillow to hug before his mind wander.

From time to time, he would recall Lian's eyes from that day and how he feels like his heart drop at Lian's words. He felt guilty for whatever reason, it makes him a little sad but that's it. He chose to brush it of his mind every time.

It was such a chaos. For a while, his parents looks at him with a hint of disapproval. Even his best friend, Diao has that kinda look in his eyes too. Kuea felt wronged, but he can do nothing. If he threw a tantrum it will only makes him look like a brat, no?

He sighs. Tomorrow, he would leave Thailand for good. He didn't know when he will come back. Or perhaps he won't comeback at all for this land only brings his heart a pain.

Kuea closed his eyes. He don't want to think about such thing anymore. It's in the past. He'll start his new life, away from this place, from Lian.

***

Around 10 p.m that night, Lian caught a sight of a familiar car at his house. It was Yi's. That was unusual of Yi to come to his house when he could just barged into his office like he used to.

After he parked his car, Lian went into his house where he saw Yi, along with his fiancè Kon-Diao sitting on his sofa seemingly waiting for his arrival.

He smiles upon seeing the two. He knows what them both have been through, and he would bless them every time in his mind he saw them together like this. Bless this two for a happy life, bless them to not become like him and Kuea.

"What are you two doing in my house? And you Yi, why didn't say anything? You could call me, no need to wait until I'm home like this." Lian said.

Both Yi and Diao stood as they saw Lian coming. Yi's lips curved into a smile as he saw this best buddy of his, while Diao smile even though he seems a bit hesitant. The little guy stare at Lian for a while. The smiling guy in front of him look a bit haggard, with dark circle under his eyes. So drastically different from his previous impression of him in Diao's mind.

"What? We can't come to your house or what? Ai'Lian don't be too stingy, can you?" It was Diao's fiancè talking. Their exchange seems so pleasant. But those can't mask the tiredness and gloominess of Lian. Without him realizing it, Diao's eyes reddened.

He knew. He fucking knew what happened to this man. Even if it wasn't his doing, he felt guilty.

Ai'Kuea what have you done?- Diao thoughts.

Lian's gaze moved onto the little guy as he kept his smile. He frowns a bit as he glanced at Yi.

"Kon-Diao? You okay?" The smiling guy asked.

"Ai'Yi! What did you do to your fiancé? He's about to cry?!"

Upon Lian's questioning, Yi turned to look at Diao with worry apparent in his eyes.

"Diao? What happened? What's wrong?" Yi grabs both of Diao's arms as he intensely looks at Diao's eyes, searching for an answer.

"Nothing, Hia. Maybe I'm getting sleepy." Diao said. He managed to hold his tears from falling.

"Is that so?" Yi asked. Not long after, a slap come abruptly on his shoulder.

"See? You shouldn't have waited for me here. If you want to talk about something, come to my office directly. It's bad for Nong if he lacks sleeping." Lian reprimands.

"Alright, I know." Yi snickered upon Lian. But then smiling to his little fiancé.

"You wait here. Hia will talk to Lian a bit then we'll go home na?"

Diao nods his eyes as Yi caress his hair. He sat the boy on the sofa before he went to the pantry with Lian.

Yi sat on one of the stool there as Lian took out cold water from the fridge.

"Kuea will be leaving for Austria tomorrow." Lian's hand halt for a few seconds. His grip on the glass bottle tighten. After a while, he turned back to Yi with an empty glass and a bottle of cold water.

"Is that so?" Lian asked nonchalantly as he sat across from Yi. Yi nod his head as an answer.

"Well? What should I do, Yi? Its not like I can stop him anyway. No?" Lian said.

"Ai'Lian-"

Before Yi could say his piece, Lian interrupts him.

"What am i to him, you are clear about it. Ai'Yi, its over. Don't bother telling me about it. I know you meant good. But, I'm nothing to him. And he's nothing to me from then on." Lian smiles as he finishes his words.

Yi was helpless. Lian patted Yi on his shoulder before pushing a glass of water to Yi.

"Drink this up and left. Your boy needs to rest. Don't worry about me. I can manage."

After a while, Lian could saw his friend's car leaving his residence.

He walked to his room, and as he walked on the stair he felt his step getting heavier. He asked himself, full of self-doubts.

"Can i really manage?"

****

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It took me so long to continue this. For those who have been waiting for an update i'm terribly sorry for being m.i.a 🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️. And thank you for always waiting 🧡💙