Broken Pieces

08. Or even a lifetime?

Kuea was fuming as he went back in to Gemini. His mood was ruined by the thing that just unfolded. He went straight to the bar where Jay was at and quickly found a place for him to sit down.

"Sorry, P'Jay!" Kuea sounded so sour and awkward as he said that. Hearing that, the older turned to look at Kuea smiling, like nothing happened.

"Hey, its okay. We sometimes have to deal with drunk customers anyway. This was nothing." Said Jay nonchalantly. But the younger clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"Also, how could that person be here? It pissed me off, P'Jay!"

Jay shook his head a bit hearing Kuea  nagging. He thought that Kuea sounds a bit childish for a moment. But he tried to understand, Kuea was in fact younger than him after all.

"Alright, just forget about it. The night is still so long. What are you gonna do? Drink more? Still, my treat!" Jay was trying his best to coax the young boy.

Kuea glanced at the man before him and then proceed to shrug.

"I dont know. Maybe i should just go back home." Kuea said, his hand reached into his pocket, he was about to call his best friend, Kon Diao. But he stopped midway.

He looked back at Jay before leaving the later.

"I'll go now, P'Jay!" He said which then replied with a wave of hand by Jay

***

Lian arrived at his house at around midnight. The house was dark and empty. For the first time ever, he felt that the house was too big for himself to live in.

Too dark, too empty and too suffocating for him. All of those aspects intensifies the loneliness he felt. He shook his head, trying to brush it off of his mind before walking into a room he's familiar with, his office.

He knew he wouldnt be able to sleep after what just happened. So, he ran to his coping mechanism, working.

Lian sat himself down in front of his desk, before turning on his computer.

Before it gets worse, he needs to distract himself from it.

***

The sky was already so bright when Lian finished the pile on his desk. He havent closed his eyes even a blink since last night.

There's a surge of tiredness that he try to ignore before he laid his back on the chair. His eyes were on the ceiling as he took a deep breath. They looked empty.

In his mind, he was thinking. He's old enough, he should be able to manage everything. He is his family's only son, and he have his parents to support. He cant afford to let himself fail on this one as well.

***

Months passed by without Kuea in his life, it was so hard for Lian. He stopped himself from doing anything related to Kuea. He even told Jay to stop sending him photos or updated him about Kirin. He stopped Yi or everyone asking about them.

He ran away from it, he was too clueless. Nobody tells him what to do and he kept silent.

He get thinner and thinner, he didnt ate well, he messed up his diet and ate whatever and whenever he remember. If his mom knew, she will be worried sick. However Lian is a pro at putting a facade. He broke down once, but there's not gonna be the 2nd time.

He havent shed a tear after that Sae Yid until now, but the pain was still there, the pain remains. Burried under those layer of facade he have built since young age.

Lian was his parents' only son. A boss for so many people in his company. He have all the responsibilites on his back to carry. There's no room for him to be weak, to slouch around. He need to be selfless yet strong, and he cant let this little matter affect him badly. There's no room for any more error.

He tried to convince himself of that, tried to hypnotize himself into believing that whatever happened, he need to be strong.

When in fact, he wasnt. Kuea was his life. All this time, he have been living for Kuea. Everything he did, from the very beginning until he reached this level was all done with Kuea in mind.

Kuea is the center of his life. He worked hard not only to make his parents' proud, but also to be worthy of Kuea.

However, it seems like the world was playing a joke on him.

Lian chuckled.

He took a deep breath, trying to stop himself from thinking whatever that is on his head. He needs to get over Kuea, and to get a life. Just like what Kuea have said.

But how could he do that? His life was not like a car which could just swerve and change direction at anytime. He needed more time. How much? He have no idea.

It could be a few weeks, months, years? Or even a lifetime?

His phone rang, breaking his daydream.  He took his phone and saw that he have an incoming call from his dearest mom. It at least put a smile on his face.

As soon as he received the call, he could hear his mom's gentle voice next to his ear. It somehow soothes him.

"Lian..." Lian smiles upon hearing the voice.

"Yes, Mom." He answered.

"Khun Keerati just got back from Austria last week.  He invited us to a dinner tonight at the manor. He said he wanted to catch up with us since its been a while. Let's go together, Lian."

Lian froze, dinner at the Keerati's manor means Kuea will be there as well. This makes him not sure about how to answer his mom. As a good son, he would always say yes to each and every requests made by his parents. But this one left him a bit puzzled.

In all honesty, knowing he would meet Kuea makes him extremely happy. However, the fact that Kuea hates him, again, pierced his heart.

I'll be the only one who genuinely happy to meet Nu, while he probably get upset seeing my face and can do nothing about it—he thought. He heaves a sigh before answering his mom.

"Alright, Mom. I'll be going back home before 3 then."

They talked about random thing for a little more than five minutes. Lian put back his phone onto his desk once the call was ended.

His hand reached onto his eyebrows, gently massaging it. He probably needs painkiller as the headache he have was getting intense.

And if possible, he want one painkiller for his heart as well.

***