05/20/15
Saying an "I love you" and not getting it back fucking sucks. Today has been the hardest day of my life so far. I had to make a decision and it was so damn hard. But I know it's going to make me stronger. I know my value and I don't think I was deserving to feel the way I was lately. I need to heal, and you can help me. This will also make us stronger. I know I didn't say much in the moment, I felt frozen, I felt pissed with myself, and I know the only thing/reason I said was stupid, but it wasn't because of that only. It was because so many things have been building up over the other one. I had to do this. I feel like I just put ourselves through a test, damn it's hard, but it's going to help. It's going to help you see who wins between love and pride. I really hope we figure all out again and work through it, because the pain I feel without him right now is unbearable. But the pain I had been feeling hurt too. I'll deal with all this if it means us becoming stronger and more mature. To be able to go through anything and at the end of things still be together and stronger than ever. Willing to fight and put our pride aside...even if we have done it before, it's not wrong to put a little bit more of effort on it and show interest one more time. Just think...if you were on my shoes and you had taken this decision, what would you want and expect the other one to do? Fight. Not just let you go. When love is stronger than the problems it won't matter having to show effort and interest one more fucking time. You'll do it for love, as many times as necessary.
Fight. Heal. Don't give up on us.
