It is so funny how sometimes you have to go through so much pain to be able to heal. But what is even more funny it's to realize that you are really half loved. You realize how you always gave too much of you and too much of what you had to someone who can't handle it, and as a payback what do you get? Pain.
But, hey! You have to find yourself again one way or another, right? And sometimes you have to learn the hard way. Sometimes you have to realize that you can't change someone no matter how hard you try; even if you were trying only for them, for their own happiness, if they don't wan to change, they won't. If your opinion and love is not enough for them, then it's just not enough. And that is ok.
It doesn't mean that something is wrong with you. It doesn't mean that you did something wrong. It just means that the other person wasn't able to receive and deliver back to you what you gave them.
You gotta appreciate yourself first. You shouldn't have to fight for a place in someone's life..at all, because love is not a competition. Love is to give. Love is to try. But right now, I am tired of trying. I am tired of being the one to always have to fight to keep the relationship going. I am tired of being told that what I ask for is too much. That I'm wrong for wanting the same attention I give. I am tired of an immature way of being. Tired of having to deal with excuses. There is no such thing as someone loving another person and not being able to deliver love, attention and effort.
After all the things you went through, after all the beautiful moments you shared and all the dreams you built together you are pushed away into misery in the blink of an eye.
One thing that pisses me off is the fact that people us their personal problems as a excuses and as a cover for their tru reasons. So hypocritical.
Then they try to come and blame on you the things that happened when all you did was not accept and put up with disrespect.
If what you want is to be alone and have the chance to go around with someone else as soon as you hang up the phone then be honest and say that instead of giving other excuses. Go and live your life the way you want to, but don't expect me to always be here for you when you decide to come back, because I'm done with the uncertainity and insecurities. I'm done of getting accused if being a cheater.
All this doesn't mean I don't love you, because God knows how much I do, but if right now we are talking about looking after ourselves and taking time for each other, then that's what I'll do. Everyone deserves being completely loved, not just half loved.
