Things happen so quickly in life.
When it finally hits you that you are now alone...that you don't have that person there anymore, the one you could run to in moments when you felt like crying, in moments of worry, pain, weakness...when it hits you, it hurts like hell. And I've had realization hit me with these feelings for more than a week now.
It's painful how so many things you loved to do with that special person and so many more you held onto tightly and cherished so much, can slip out of your reach in the blink of an eye.
Even though I've always been good at appearing ok when down inside I'm hurting and breaking down, I'm at a point in my life where I can't and don't want to keep the tears and screams inside.
I want to let all this out. I don't want to feel like my chest burns anymore, or like my heart is being ripped out of me.
I know what can free me from this pain. And he is the only one that can. His arms wrapped around me were what held my breaking pieces together. His eyes were what cleared my mind from negative thoughts, and his lips on mine were what soothed any ache in my heart and mind.
Right now is the moment for me to hold on to the 'stepped-on' dignity I have left, pick my own pieces together and hold myself up. Right now is the moment I need to prove myself strong and capable. I need to keep my head up no matter how much I miss him and how much I suffer for his absence day after day.
I know I am capable of continuing through everything alone, but the thing is, I don't wanna do it alone. I want him by my side through every step of the way, from now and until the end. And I know that no matter what time it is and where I am at, he will always be the one for me.
